#fyi my boyfriend is smart and cool

[limbsofsatan]

hhhnnnnhhhhyyyyeeeEEAHHHH IM GUNNA TWEET (doesnt tweet)

[fuckyeah-jessicabiel]

Deep dive #2: Jessica Biel’s relationships timeline and all the interconnections

| Adam LaVorgna | Chris Evans | Justin Timberlake |

Disclaimer: This is done for fun. No hate, no drama, just some Hollyweirdness. It’s not a detailed timeline but more like key moments with some fun or surprising connections and anecdotes (to me at least). It’s just not possible to do one boyfriend timeline without mentionning another one. No famous people won’t be mentionned, neither most tabloids speculations. People already twist things, so it can’t be worse (right?). And please don’t judge my english.

Spring 1997: During the interview with All-Stars Magazine, 15 years old JessicaBiel shared that she only had two "sort of" boyfriends, both of whom were 17.

All-stars: In real life, do you ever date older guys? Jessica: I don’t really date very many people. I’ve had two boyfriends kind of! Both of them have been 17, so they’re usually older.

Spring 1998: 16 years old Jessica Biel is filming her second movie “I’ll be Home for Christmas” with Jonathan Taylor Thomas in Alberta and Vancouver, Canada. She met Adam LaVorgna who play the bad boy Eddie, they start dating while filming the movie. Even thought Adam is not very well known, he has been acting since he is 10. Nsync’s christmas song was used during the end credit of the movie. FYI The movie is available on Disney+.

"I knew when I first met [Jessica] there was something there. We did a movie together called I'll Be Home for Christmas. As soon as I saw her, I thought I'm definitely going to date this girl. There's no way she's getting away from me. It'll be three years in April." - Teen Magazine, March 2001

April 1, 1999: On The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jessica said that Adam Lavorgna was her first real boyfriend. She said he is very smart and go to Avon Old Farms high school in Connecticut.

“First guy named Adam, oh oh trouble trouble” - Jay Leno

August 12, 1999: Jessica Biel and Adam Lavorgna did their first red carpet together at Barry Watson’s movie premiere "Teaching Mrs.Tingle". From what I have seen, it was Adam’s first red carpet of his career.

Fall 1999: 7th Heaven producers were looking for an actor to play Jessica’s character Mary Camden boyfriend and asked her if she had any suggestion. She suggested her then boyfriend Adam. His first appearance as Robbie Palmer in 7th Heaven was in season 4, Episode 10 aired on November 29, 1999. When the producers first called his team, they refused it without talking to Adam. He had to call them to tell them to accept it. He didn’t care for the show but just wanted to be with Jessica and make easy money. Adam shared that story on the Worst Ever Podcast in 2019.

January 2000: Lance Bass from Nsync guest-starred in 7th Heaven as Rick Palmer (Adam LaVorgna character’s brother). He appeared in season 4 episode 13 that aired on January 30, 2000.

I have a friend who worked for a publicist for some of the actors on The WB, such as [”7th Heaven” star] Beverley Mitchell and the people from ”Popular.” So I was having dinner with her and Beverley, and Beverley was talking about how she wanted a boyfriend this season, and I said, ”I’ll do it!” and she was like, ”Okay!” Source: Entertainment Weekly, January 2000

So of course while filming that episode Jessica was asked by Enews about Nsync. She said she knew about them but don’t own any of their CDs and they shared their differents experiences.

“Hum but I mean cool, I guess” - Jessica Biel about NSYNC

And also Justin Timberlakeand the Nsync guys watching that 7th Heaven episode during a MTV interview.

March 2000: Jessica did the scandalous Gear Magazine photoshoot. (She quickly regretted doing that photoshoot and shared how horrible the experience was). Adam was not happy about it. There were some tensions between them while she was spending time with the interviewer.

During the time I spent with her, the Boyfriend (whom she asks not to name) is constant presence, though he’s more than 3,000 miles away in Boston. What he thinks  and how he’ll react take up a large portion of Jesse’s thoughts. He’s nervous at her being perceived as sex idol, and having a writer from men’s magazine spend several days with her is not helping. Over the course of those days, the phone keeps ringing - the Boyfriend - and it’s stressing her. [...] Jesse and I are supposed to hook up the first night I'm in L.A., and I wait for the phone to ring at my hotel room. It never does. [...] The next morning, we talk on the phone. It turns out Jesse had a big fight with the Boyfriend on the phone, and, no longer able to deal, she went to her friend's house and spent the night. And her cell batteries died because she'd been talking to him so long, and I'd given her my wrong cell number and…" Really, I wasn't trying to blow you off. Everything went wrong last night. Please don't think that I'm just some Hollywood jerk," she pleads. [...] She fields another call from her beau. It's an agitated conversation, and when she hangs up the air is very still. Jesse has a tendency to become quite serious - she says she thinks way too much and it's suddenly uncomfortable between us. He told her he's unhappy with the situation and doesn't want to talk to her until the writer is gone.The phone rings again. It's the Boyfriend - he's being a jerk, he tells her. Go ahead and have a great interview.Jesse smiles and the tension is gone. "That's so fucking cool of him." Gear Magazine, March 2000

Summer 2000: When it was time for Jessica to leave the show to attend college on the East Coast with Adam (Jessica at Tufts University and Adam at Boston College), the producers of 7th Heaven contacted Adam and offered him a regular role for Season 5. Adam agreed, dropped out of college to be in Los Angeles for filming, while Jessica, who needed a break, still went to college in Massachusetts.

With hindsight, Adam regretted accepting the offer because now he feels like the producers asked him to comeback for season 5 to hit back at Jessica for leaving the show. Jessica was still working on the show during her school break, only appeared in few episodes and her scenes were very brief. Contrary to what was said in the medias, Jessica was never fired from the show. Aaron Spelling made it clear she still had 2 years left in her contract. They destroyed her character thought.

(Read the deep dive about the photoshoot and Jessica Biel leaving the show here)

2000(?): Jessica Biel, Adam LaVorgna, Chris Evans and a group of friends attend a party all together!!

April 2001: Jessica Biel and Adam LaVorgna did a photoshoot together for Movieline Magazine. They denied dating. Adam revealed in the Worst Ever podcast in 2019 that their PR told them to deny they were dating. (off topic: When I was a kid I had the green dress picture as poster from one of my teen mag)

August 12, 2001: Jessica Biel and Adam LaVorgna did their last red carpet together at The Teen Choice Awards. 7th Heaven won best drama award that day. Adam missed the moment they went on stage, and Barry asked where is he?

August 22, 2001: Adam attended Jessica’s movie premiere “Summer Catch” but they didn’t take pictures together.

October 5, 2001: The Enquirer is reporting that Adam LaVorgna went to Promises rehab in Malibu for cocaine and Vicodin addiction.

The Enquirer is reporting that Jessica Biel's boyfriend and 7th Heaven co-star [Adam LaVorgna] checked himself into Promises rehab in Malibu after Jessica and the show's producers both gave the cocaine and Vicodin addict  an ultimatum. An insider told the taboid, "The cocaine and pills drastically  changed his demeanor." After the two talked him into rehab, he appears greatful as the friend added, "Right now he's thanking God for Jessica and the show's  producers. They saved his livelihood - and his life." Source: Jessica Biel Fansite

Adam revealed in the Worst Ever Podcast in 2019, he started drinking at 10/11yo and had Opioid addiction (and then maybe doing heroin, I didn’t understand exactly what he said). He went to rehab multiple times and the first two times were paid by 7th Heaven producer, Aaron Spelling.

In the interviews with Elle Magazine and Cosmopolitan in 2005, Jessica mentioned, without explicitly stating his name, that the relationship was not healthy. Also mentionned in the London (2005) movie behind the scene.

Everybody’s gone throught a relationship that’s not healthy for you. When I was 16, I cried my eyes out to Elvis’ “Cant’ Help Falling in Love” because I felt so in love that my heart was breaking apart.  Elle Magazine, 2005

He was lying to me and accusing me of cheating—but then I realized he was the one cheating. He was putting it on me and making me feel like shit... But then three years later, I was still with him. And then it finally just smacked me in the face and I was like I’m done. I’m over it. Cosmopolitan, 2005

October 10, 2001: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans did their first red carpet appearance at the wrap party of her movie “The Rules of Attraction”. Unless I'm wrong, Chris’ first red carpet of his career were also with Jessica. There is no information about how they met. In the interview with Animal Fair on January 2003, it is mentionned they were friends before dating. In Chris' workout video for Not Another Teen Movie, you can see Jessica in January 2002 commenting on the evolution of his body after filming the movie. They were not dating yet when he did the movie.

Jessica was back full time to L.A after one year at Tufts University. She did another semester later in 2002.

Jessica is still under her 7th Heaven contract and is working daily with Adam LaVorgna on season 6. 7th Heaven showrunner who was still holding grudge against her, made Mary desperate to win Robbie back while he keep rejecting her.

Before writing this post, I didn’t realize that it seems like Jessica and Adam never lived in the same state until they broke up.

Somehow Adam and Chris built a strong friendship for over 20 years. Adam was Chris plus-one at the 2016 Golden Globes. 💁‍♀️

November 11, 2002: The last 7th Heaven episode starring Adam aired, season 7 episode 8. There were no official explanation of why Adam left, neither off screen nor on screen at that time. Adam later revealed in a interview with belief.net that the Hollywood life (easy money, barely working, drugs, partying) is not for him, he is unable to control him and left California for the East Coast. Neither Jessica, nor the cast ever mentionned his addiction.

Jessica’s initial contract being over after season 6, only apperared in 5 out of 22 episodes of season 7. They had only 2 episodes in common.

2002: Jessica and Chris shared the way they feel about their relationship

How is it dealing with a long-distance relationship? Well it’s not easy but I think we both feel really secure in our relationship and we’re making it happen. But it’s always tough. Source: Atnzone, 2002

His favorite way to relax: Hanging out with my girlfriend as much as possible. She's an amazing person. Source: Unknow interview, 2002

January 31, 2003: Jessica Biel attended Justin Timberlake 22nd birthday party with Beverley Mitchell, her future husband Michael and a friend. Justin’s exes Br*tn*y Sp*ars and Alyssa Milano were also there. (Random fact: Adam and Alyssa families are very close, Adam call her “his cousin”)

Beverley Mitchell used to hang out a lot with the Nsync guys in the early 2000s. She participated at many of their Challenge For The Children charity events in Miami from 2000 to 2005. David Gallagher also took part of it. Beverley became pretty close to the guys. Joey Fatone also attended her wedding in Italy in 2008, and she was often seen with Lance Bass. Beverley shared during a recent podcast  with Lance Bass (@ 56min)  that she asked Jessica multiple times to come to thoses events and that she is unlike them actually good at basketball but she always refused.

During a podcast with Tia Mowry, Beverley revealed that Jessica used to tease her for hanging out with Nsync. Tia also shared a story about a Teen People party she was with Jessica where Nsync were performing. Beverley also mentionned that strange moment Justin’s mom asked her about Jessica at the 2007 Golden Globes.

October 2003: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans filmed the movie “Cellular” in Santa Monica, Callifornia. The director of the movie, David R. Ellis, asked Chris to ask Jessica to play the small girlfriend role. He also revealed they had broken up after filming the movie but were back together during the press tour for the movie.

Interviewer: They are still dating? Ellis: They were dating when we made the film and then they took a little break and now they're [back]. She's here. She was just here for lunch with Chris. Now they're back together. They just took a little hiatus.

Interviewer: At the time, was it just a coincidence that she was cast? Ellis: No. What happened was I knew Chris was going out with her, and I said, "Why don't you show this to Jess and see what she thinks. If she'd like to come do it, you guys could do something together, it'd be cute." Unknow interview, 2004

November 2003 to February 2004: Jessica Biel is training and then filming the caothic Blade: Trinity in Vancouver, Canada with Ryan Reynolds and kind of with Wesley Snipes.

From Febuary to June 2004: Jessica Biel is filming Stealth with Jamie Foxx and Josh Lucas in Australia and Thailand.

January 27, 2004: At the Perfect Score movie premiere, Chris Evans confirmed their break up (unknow source)

June 30, 2004: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans confirmed back together. They were pictured together in Santa Monica.

September 2004: During press tour of Cellular, Chris shared that they decided to be more low key and how hurtful it could be to read about heartache in magazines.

Evans says he and Biel, whom he describes as "such a sweet girl," have agreed to keep their dating private. "Relationships are difficult," he says. "All that emotion and pain. I can't imagine opening a magazine and reading about my heartache at the newsstand. I said, 'Let's not be seen at clubs being loud and obnoxious. Let's not go to premieres or parties. Let's not get our picture taken.' She's all for it." New York Daily News

(Jessica is a teen star and yet has never been seen being loud and obnoxious at club in the last 25 years)

January 2005: Even thought Chris Evans said it’s a bad idea to work with your girlfriend, Jessica and Chris worked again together in the movie “London”.

“Just don’t do it” - Chris Evans about on set love after filming Cellular

During the interview with Allure in 2009, she is asked to comment about a picture from "London" with Chris.

JB: "That was the beginning of the sex scene in the movie." ALLURE: "Old boyfriend?" JB: "Yes." [rolls her eyes] "You know how it is...."

July 2005: In the July issue of Cosmopolitan, Jessica Biel denied rumors that she and Chris Evans were engaged but they do talk about it.

Interviewer: Do the two of you ever talk about getting married? JB: We always talk about it. We both want to be married, and we both want to have children. But we’re not engaged, so the rumors are false…so far.

On July 6, Jessica attended Chris’ Fantastic Four movie premiere in NYC

March 2006: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans are pictured together for the last time as a couple while walking Jessica’s newley adopted pitbull Tina.

June 30 2006: Wenn.com reports that Jessica Biel and Chris Evans broke up.

Jessica Biel and Chris Evans have called it quits after dating for more than two years, according to media reports in the US... Evans, who starred in Fantastic Four, is currently filming The Nanny Diaries with Scarlett Johansson. A source tells the US edition of OK! magazine that Evans has recently been spotted out in New York City with brunette public relations executive. Meanwhile 24-year-old Biel has been in Los Angeles filming Next with Nicolas Cage.            

October 2006 : Life & Style Weekly reports that Jessica is seeing Adam Levine. They have never been seen together or ever talked about each other. Zero detail about how or where they met. Sound 100% bullshit.

November 6, 2006: TMZ spotted Jessica walking her dog with Zach Braff. Yep that was before she eat him (it’s a Bojack Horseman reference). They never talked about each other and have never been spotted together after that.

November 28, 2006: People reports that Jessica and Derek Jeter are cozying up all over Las Vegas. They also have been spotted together at Social Hollywood on Nov. 15.

December 7, 2006: According US weekly and In Touch, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake were at Social Hollywood. It is kind of confirmed by Justin on his book.

When I met Jess, it was undeniable how beautiful she is. We were at a surprise party in Hollywood at a speakeasy kind of a bar, a private club, and we were standing around in a group of people. I made some sort of sarcastic comment, really dry. Nobody got it except her. She laughed, and I noticed, all of a sudden, and in the way where you wonder if a person’s like you, if they have a very dry, dark sense of humor, too. We talked that night. The DJ played “Lucky Star,” and we danced. And then she was gone. I didn’t ask for her number. It wasn’t the time. From Justin Timberlake book, Hindsight

End of December 2006/Begining of January 2007: Scarlett Johansson is filming the music video What Goes Around with Justin Timberlake.

From January 1 to January 5, 2007: Jessica is pictured with Derek Jeter in Puerto Rico for the first and the last time. They have not been spotted together after that.

January 5, 2007: Gossip site reports that Scarlett Johansson and Justin Timberlake were seen chatting away at his movie "Alpha Dog" party.

January 8, 2007: Perez Hilton reports on his blog that Jessica Biel was at Justin Timberlake first show of his Futusex/Lovesound tour. Confirmed again on his book released in 2018.

My first show for the FutureSex/LoveSounds tour was in San Diego. A friend who also knew Jess was going to come to the show, and she asked me, “What if I was to bring a certain somebody?” I said, “I could be into that.” Patience may not be my strong suit but, apparently, playing coy is. My friend brought her to the show. They were with a whole crew of girls, and they all came into the dressing room and hung out. After the show, they were going to go back to LA, and I was going on to Anaheim. I asked them if they wanted to come with me. “I’ll give you a ride, you can come on my bus. If you want …” And they did. Jess and I talked the whole way up, joking around. Before she got off the tour bus, I said, “Can I have your number?” That was when we started talking on the phone. We didn’t date at first. For about two weeks, we talked on the phone, because I was on tour.

Then the Golden Globes came up, and that’s when we planned on seeing each other. From that moment on, we started dating. We were both still seeing other people, keeping « ourselves safe from getting hurt, from really putting ourselves out there. It took a bit for both of us to admit to ourselves that we were really, really that into each other.

From Justin Timberlake book, Hindsight

January 11, 2007: Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz confirmed tabloids speculations and released a break up statement via People. There were already rumors of Justin and Cameron break up. Pagesix reported that Justin spent the new year at Kate Hudson party and Cameron with her family in Vail, Colorado.

January 15, 2007: Golden Globes Night! Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, both presenters that night, see each other for the first time since his San Diego show as planned and got flirty. They were just not expecting 35yo Cameron Diaz public tantrum!

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, who announced last week that they’d split up, got into a heated argument at Prince’s Golden Globes afterparty early Tuesday morning. The exes, who’d chatted politely during the awards ceremony and even shared laughs at InStyle’s annual afterparty, hit the rough patch in their officially amicable breakup at a wee-hours bash hosted by the singer at the Beverly Wilshire hotel. According to witnesses, Timberlake was chatting with actress Jessica Biel when Diaz approached. Biel stepped away, and the former couple had a serious exchange. Diaz walked away, Timberlake followed, and the two were soon spotted engaged in an intense 40-minute face-off in a side room. Diaz reemerged looking composed, but not before Timberlake held his head in his hands and, says a witness, “slammed his fist (down) into a cabinet.” Source: People.com

The pair was continuing the touchy-feely flirtation begun earlier that night at the Creative Artists Agency-sponsored bash at Sunset Towers. And his ex-girlfriend Cameron Diaz couldn’t help but stare. “Cameron was across the room giving them the evil eye,” says a party source. “It was like high school.”  “All of a sudden she just lost it,” says one of the many witnesses to the tantrum of Diaz. “She came up and started yelling at Jessica.” According to a witness, Biel, 24, stepped away, leaving Diaz, 34, to unleash her fury on Timberlake, 25, who moved with her into a hallway. Says a guest, “First she started saying all these nasty things to him about Jessica like, ‘What is she? Your new f—king girlfriend? Look at her!’ And then she insinuated things about other guys that Jessica has been with.” The tirade went on for 45 minutes, until Barrymore finally intervened. Source: US weekly

No pictures of them together were published at that time. Years later, this picture will be shared

January 18, 2007: TMZ reports that Cameron Diaz is in Hawai with Kelly Slater. US Weekly mentionned that she flew there the next day of Golden Globes.

January 25, 2007: Jessica is spotted at the Sundance Film Festival.

People.comJustin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have been spotted chilling, flirting and snowboarding lately – but don’t peg them as a new couple just yet, sources say in the new issue of PEOPLE. Earlier this month, Timberlake invited Biel and a few friends to hang backstage at his concert in San Diego, and the pair were spotted snowboarding together with a group of buddies at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, on Jan. 25. - People.com

Still no pictures of them together.

February 2, 2007: Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette reps confirmed they ended their engagement to People.com

February 5, 2007: During the superbowl week, People.com reports that Justin, Scarlett and Joey Fatone arrived together at a party in Miami. They didn’t appear romantic according the source.

February 11, 2007: Justin attended the Grammy Awards as a performer and Scarlett as a presenter. On the red carpet, she adressed the rumors “We have a lot of friends in common, and it’s always good to see him”. Source: People

February 26, 2007: After GQ magazine Oscar party, Jessica Biel and Blade Trinity co-star Ryan Reynolds have a dinner with a group of people at Astro Burger in West Hollywood, including their PR, Meredith.

March 5, 2007: During the fashion week, Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson are seen shopping together in Paris, France. Jessica and Scarlett have known each other since they are teens. They did a photoshoot together for Teen People Magazine in 1998.

Jessica and Scarlett have always been friendly with each other over the years (Hitchcock movie premiere 2012, Oscars 2017 with JT)

March 9, 2007:  MTV reports that Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds were seen having a dinner at Santa Monica’s Balabu that week. The pictures seems to have disappear from internet.

April 9, 2007: People reports that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds spend the week end together

April 2007: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake decide to be exclusive. Justin’s 1st US leg tour ended on March 29, 2007. They spend a month together and they decide to be exclusive before touring Europe from April 24 to July 10. His world tour ended in December 2007.

« When I came back from tour, we spent a month together. After that, I said, “I really want to be exclusive.” And, somehow, she said, “So do I.” It was crazy, because I was about to leave for Europe for three months. Two weeks later, I came back to LA to see her. Then she flew back to Europe with me, and we spent two weeks on the road together. We were going to different cities, having a ball, with room service and pay-per-view and great dinners. And Scrabble. We’ve had a lot of unforgettable times. From Justin Timberlake book, Hindsight

"At one point, we decided we were going to be exclusive. It was that moment; we had that conversation, and literally the next day he was like, 'OK, I'm going to Europe for six months. And I was thinking to myself, What are you doing? You're going to get your heart broken. This guy is the biggest ... whatever he is, and-are you nuts? You're so crazy. But he's just not that person."  Jessica Biel on Marie Claire, 2017

May 2007: In the may issue of Seventeen, Scarlett Johansson while doing promo for her movie The Nanny Diaries (also starring Chris) talked about the rumors linked to her and Jessica.

“We live in a world today where if two people are single – and one’s a guy and one’s a girl and they’re both famous – you’re going to be linked with somebody; If it’s somebody one week, it’s going to be somebody else the next week. It’s either me or Jessica Biel.” Source: People

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz attend the premiere of the movie Shrek 3 and are doing promo for it.

May 13, 2007: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake officially confirmed, they are pictured together for the first time in Manchester, UK. Jessica joined him during his tour.

July 7, 2007: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans who broke up a year before attended the wedding of a friend in Santa Barbara, California. It doesn’t seem to be someone from the industry, there were no other celebrity. Jessica explained on the Late show of Jay Leno that paparazzi followed her from her Brentwood house and she had to negociate with them. She posed for them in exchange of them leaving and stop bothering the wedding.

June 2008:  Intouch reports that Jessica Biel is moving with Justin Timberlake in his Hollywood Hills house but she will still keep her Brentwood house. She was rarely seen around Brentwood after this.

July 11, 2008: Eonline reports that Jessica, Justin and Chris were all at the opening of the nightclub Kress in Los Angeles but didn’t interact.

Justin Timberlake and girlfriend Jessica Biel made a rare public outing, complete with public displays of affection Friday night in Hollywood at the official opening of Kress, which was crawling with celebs. Timberlake and Biel arrived around 11:30 p.m. at the four-floor club on Hollywood Blvd., where a reserved cabana on the roof deck awaited them. "They're very happy, and very much together," an onlooker told E! We're sure that was evident to Chris Evans, Biel's ex-boyfriend (they dated from 2001-2005). The Fantastic Four's Johnny Storm circled the roof all night, avoiding his ex. "They didn't interact. Chris just wandered around by himself, looking for a table to sit at," the source adds.

September 2008: People reports that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds wed in Canada

October 12, 2008: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake did their first official  public appearance at Barack Obama rally in Las Vegas, Nevada.

December 10, 2008: Justin and Jessica did their first event together at the Make The Difference Network’s holiday party to benefit Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. Make The Difference Network (MTDN) is a social networking website founded by Jessica’s family in 2005 focused on connecting nonprofit organizations (kind of like Gofundme for nonprofit organizations before Gofundme existed but without fees).

January 12, 2009: Justin and Jessica were having dinner at Yatai Asian Tapas Bar when Br*tn*y Sp*ars came in with her mother. They didn’t interact, she left 30 minutes later. Jessica and Justin left shortly after.

May 2009: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake did their first red carpet as a couple at the Met Gala. It was pretty unexpected because Justin never did red carpet with Cameron during their 4 years relationship. Anna Wintour co-chaired that year Met Gala with Justin.

Febuary 2010: On the february issue of Vogue Magazine, Jessica shares how she feels about all the tabloids speculations.

It’s definitely been weird and sort of bizarre to deal with. But you have to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Honestly, I look at a magazine and they know more than I do. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t feel the need to clear anything up. It’s the most precious thing that I have in my life, and I care about it so much that I don’t care about what anyone says or thinks. I have just not addressed it in any real way, and I’m not going to. It’s mine. And I really like that about it.

March 2010: Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz are filming the movie Bad Teacher...

February 28, 2011, Jessica and Justin are spotted at Bowling in Studio City with his mother, Lynn.

March 10, 2011: After many years of never ending rumors, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake reps confirms to People.com that they have broken up.

Reps for the couple released a statement Thursday, confirming the split: “Addressing the media speculation regarding Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake’s relationship, we are confirming that they mutually have decided to part ways. The two remain friends and continue to hold the highest level of love and respect for each other.”

Again after the break up, Jessica is pretty busy.

April and May 2011: Jessica is filming Playing for Keeps with Gerard Butler in Louisiana 

June to September 2011: Jessica is filming Total Recall with Colin Farrell and Kate Beckinsale in Toronto, Canada.

June 2011: In the June issue of Vanity Fair , Justin talks about Jessica.

"She is the single-handedly most significant person in my life. In my 30 years, she is the most special person, OK?

So I protect it, and until somebody shows me what would be more fulfilling at this point, that's what I have to do. I would rather not talk about her, because it's hurtful for me. It's unfortunate that even though you make the effort to say something, which I tried on for size, people do what they want to do.

I don't want to say much more, because I have to protect things that are dear to me—for instance, her."

June 2, 2011: Jessica is seen on Motorcycle Ride with Gerard Butler. Their reps tell People they are just friends.

Meanwhile Justin is spotted hanging out with Ashley Olsen. Justin reps denies the rumors of dating to People, he is hanging out with “a group of friends”. Estee Stanley, Jessica and Ashley’s stylist and close friend, was with them. (On this one you will have to believe me i saw all of them in one video with other people leaving a restaurant and hotel, I can’t post the source).

In May 2012, Jessica shared on social media the RAW backpack that Ashley Olsen gifted to her.

June 03, 2011: Enews reports that Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake reunited at his best friend Trace Ayala girlfriend pregancy party but were just friendly.

Bumping into an ex at a mutual friend's party can be awkward for most of us. But not for Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, who attended the same party on Thursday afternoon in Brentwood. According to a source, the former couple was more than civil at the celebration..."There was no PDA, but they were talking to each other for awhile," a source tells us. "They ate and sat next to each other." But did it look like the onetime twosome were rekindling their relationship? Not exactly. The exes arrived and left the soiree, which was a celebration for J.T.'s friend and business partner's Trace Ayala's expectant girlfriend, separately.

They did kiss before departing, but it wasn't the romantic type of smooch.

July 3, 2011: US Weekly reports that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel were spotted at the Black Hoof restaurant in Toronto where Jessica is filming Total Recall

August 2011: Multiple twitter sightings of them in NYC

August 28, 2011: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake confirmed back together, they are pictured riding bike in Toronto where Jessica is still filming Total Recall.

October 30, 2011: A unknow actor posted on twitter a halloween picture of him with Jessica Biel and Chris Evans. Jessica is dressed as a Kardashian and Chris as ...a thug...

December 23, 2011: A twitter user reports that Justin Timberlake proposed to Jessica Biel at the top of a mountain in Montana. He got the information from their ski instructor friend (not posting his tweet because he is not a public person). Justin and Jessica are known to do heli-snowboarding which would explain why they had an instructor with them. They didn’t confirmed or denied at the moment.

March 8, 2012: Jessica Biel is seen wearing her engagement ring for the first time.

May 7, 2012: Jessica Biel joins Twitter and Instagram

May 24, 2012: Chris Evans joins Twitter

August 2012: Jessica’s Brentwood house is sold.

October 19, 2012: Jessica and Justin tied the knot at the Borgo Egnazia resort in the south of Italy. Jessica was wearing a custom petal pink Giambattista Valli Haute Couture gown.

October 21, 2012: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake flown to Tanzania for a honeymoon amongst the wildlife.

May 2013: Chris bought an house in the same street as Justin and Jessica.

In his interview with Hollywood Reporter in 2019, Chris mentionned that “he thinks” Justin Timberlake lives around here. The little shady interviewer doesn’t believe that he doesn’t know that Jessica also live there.

He keeps it closer to the vest about other people. He mentions in passing that Justin Timberlake lives around here — “I think” — without mentioning that Timberlake lives around here with his wife, Jessica Biel, who was once Evans’ girlfriend.

March 2, 2014: Jessica Biel took a picture with Chris Evans’ brother, Scott Evans, at the 2014 Oscar party.

September 27, 2014: Jessica Biel who is very well known for being fit is seen with a little belly at the beach in Hawaii.

October 14, 2014: For the first time, Justin shared a picture of them on social media during the New Zealand stop of his 20/20 Experience world tour.

April 8, 2015: They welcome their first son Silas Randall Timberlake. 12 days later Justin shared his first picture on Instagram. After few months, they stopped sharing his face.

July 2020: They welcome their second son Phineas Timberlake. They were able to “hide” her pregnancy because of covid lockdown. They never shared pictures showing his face.

[abunchoffolkswhosharealife]

Meet the System!

Hi everyone! Just as an FYI, this post will be updated whenever an alter feels to add a little section about themself. (We respect each other's privacy, and because of this, we let each other introduce ourselves instead of doing it for an alter.)

Thanks!

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For anyone who is wondering, the last time we did a head count, we had between 20-30 headmates in the system. That doesn't mean all of those headmates will actually make an appearance online. Some of us are very uncomfortable with the idea of sharing ourselves with the world, so we've left it to each alter to decide whether or not they want to go public. We also are pretty protective of our littles when it comes to the internet, (for obvious reasons,) so they will rarely (if at all) make an appearance. Thank you!

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Jay: Hi! I'm Jay, and am the host of this system! My pronouns are she/her, and I like to spend my time writing and drawing stories, creating worlds, (etc.) I identify as straight but queer (if that makes sense XD) Three words to describe me would be: Creative, Nerdy, and Nighthawk. I absolutely love my system and everyone here, and can’t wait to learn more about this community!

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Lena: Hello, Tumblr. I am Lena. My role in the system would be Medical Protector, since that is essentially what I do. I make sure we get through doctor appointments. My pronouns are she/her. I am aromantic. I am NEVER going to be in a romantic relationship with ANYBODY. EVER. Three words to describe me would be Cynical, Witty, and Insomniac. Some other cool info about me would be that I am one of the few in our system that doesn’t have an American accent. Mine sounds like it could be Russian, for some reason.

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Dean: Hey I’m Dean and my role in the system is Get-Assholes-To-Leave-Us-The-Fuck-Alone (aka Verbal Protector, but I like my version of the title a lot more) I’m a guy, so he/him, and just about as straight as you can get. I support though, so there you go. Three words? Damn. Smart. Bitch. Idk what else to put here. Just don’t be a shit head to us and you and I will get along just fine. (otherwise you’ll get a friendly not-so-friendly invitation to go to hell and fuckin burn, dick.)

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Melody: Hello, lovelies! <3 My name is Melody! My role in the system would be soother and caretaker, as my primary role is to help us breathe and calm down when we are panicking/having an episode, and to care for most of our littles and some other alters in our system internally. I am female, and my pronouns are she/her! I don't know what my sexuality would be, but probably pansexual (or omnisexual?) Three words to describe me would be Friendly, Patient, and Loving! Like Lena, I am one of the few in our system with an accent, mine I believe originating from Britain, as our system finds that accent to be quite calming and soothing. Thank you, and have a wonderful day!

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Ian: What's up, guys! Idk what my role is, probably trauma holder tbh :') I'm a guy, so he/him please! Uh, I'm definitely homosexual, hands down XD Aw dang, three words? idk, um, maybe like fun-loving and hype and friendly? haha, I'm so bad at this. Idk what else to share ummm. . . Dean's my twin, Olivia and Oliver are my younger siblings, and Jack's our big brother. I love em all a lot, they're super great, so ye. Oh, and Orion's my boyfriend! See ya!

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Will: Um hi :) My name is Wilbur, but I go by Will. I don't know if I have a system role, i guess I'm probably just supposed to be the 12 year old kid we never got to be? idk lol. I'm he/him. idk what my sexuality is, I've never really had a crush before so. . . ye. My dads say three words that would describe me would be thoughtful, opinionated and either sweet or mischievous for the third one so whatevs. I really like drawing, playing video games, watching tv. And yeah. That's me. I love my family, and am happy to be here :)

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🔸: Hi.

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🦋: I have truama. Its hard for me to be out, but I wanna tell my story too. I dont want more kids hurting like me because its stupid shit. I dont know what I like but I wanna find out. I wanna do me.

oh and Im a girl.

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Max: Hi, I'm kind of new. I don't really know a lot of system stuff, sorry. I do know that I'm a fictive from Stranger Things though. Specifically season 4. I like skateboarding and surfing the net and stuff. Idk what else to put, so see ya.

[kindahoping4forever]

Feedback // Ashton Irwin

I've been sitting on this fic for a minute so thank you to everyone who's patiently waited for me to post it (shoutout to Sly)! This story was really just me getting inspired and clowning after Ashton's "Down To Earth" IG stream back in April. As always, thanks to @cal-puddies for the invaluable guidance as I tried to pare my writing style down into a pwp format (try being the operative word, 3500 words is still the best we could do lmao).

Warnings: Distracted Boyfriend!Ash, oral sex on a male, moderately rough unprotected sex (on the red leather couch) including mild dirty talk, brief choking and a spank or two.

Word Count: 3535

Masterlist // Ko-Fi and New 2021 Taglist linked above

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

"Baby! I didn't know you were home!"

You turn around to see Ashton in the doorway of the bedroom, voice as cheerful as the yellow beanie covering his head.

"Didn't hear you come in," he comments, walking over to you.

You slide your arms around your boyfriend’s neck with a sigh. "Rushed up here, phone was about two seconds from shutting off," you explain, greeting him with a tender kiss.

He watches as you kick off your shoes and yank your bra off under your shirt, tossing everything haphazardly in the direction of the closet before flinging yourself on the bed. "Tough day?"

You groan, dragging your hands over your face before extending your arms, encouraging him to join you. “Eh, not great and very long,” you report, giving a satisfied sigh when Ash climbs on the bed and immediately pulls you on top of him, wrapping his arms around you tightly. You do the same and the both of you lay quietly in this prone embrace for several peaceful moments before you break the silence. “How about you, how was your day?”

You feel him shrug under your body. “Can’t complain,” is his simple reply.

“Make anything cool?” You prompt, knowing he’s being low-key because he thinks you need to chill out, not realizing nothing relaxes you more than listening to him talk about his passions.

“Hmm… anything cool...” Ash giggles, hugging you closer. “I dunno, got a good start goin’ on this one track that could be pretty cool, got a nice vibe.”

You raise your head up to look at him and scratch your fingers across his beard, you’re so glad he decided to let it grow again. “Yeah? Tell me more.”

He hums as you continue to rub his face. “Only been at it for a couple hours, ‘s just a track for now, we’ll see what I can do with it,” he breezes, moving your hand from his face to his mouth so he can kiss it.

“Well, whenever you feel like you need a fresh pair of ears, I’d love to hear it,” you enthuse, moving to lay at his side.

He turns to give you a bright grin. “Yeah? A little in-house focus group?” He teases, leaning in for a sweet kiss that starts to get needy the longer it goes on.

You pull off his hat, running your fingers through his long hair as he moves to kiss along your neck. “Don’t know if you know this but I’m a big fan of your work,” you tease back.

He kisses your lips again, biting a bit as he pulls away to quip, “We talking ‘bout my music or something else?”

You giggle, deciding that indulging this frisky mood is exactly how you would like to unwind tonight. You inch closer, pulling him back into a kiss and he responds eagerly, hand coming up to massage at the base of your neck like it always does. For the next few minutes, the only thoughts in your mind revolve around Ashton, how he feels, how he tastes and where you need his mouth or hands on you next.

When you let out a moan at the way his fingers are gripping your skin under your shirt and he doesn’t press himself against you in response, you can tell he’s gotten distracted. You laugh knowingly against his lips, “You’re back to thinking about that song now, aren’t you?”

He looks at you with a sheepish smile. “I was actually still workin’ and came up here just to grab a hoodie when I found you.”

You playfully push him off of you, shaking your head. “Dude, you should’ve told me! You know I’m not one to fuck with The Process,” you admonish, scrunching your nose up at the trail of kisses he pecks over your face as he sits up.

“Nah, my brain needed a break and my girl needed me, it worked out perfectly,” he insists, rubbing your arm affectionately before getting off the bed.

He quickly fishes his desired sweatshirt out of the closet and pulls it on over his t-shirt, mussing his hair even more than you already had. He walks back over, ready to kiss you goodbye when you sit up on your knees to stop him. “I was serious about giving it a listen if ya want,” you say, smoothing his hair down before resting your hands on top of his inside his hoodie pocket. “If you’re not ready that’s fine but just FYI I‘m interested.”

Ash grins at you, squeezing your hands before using them to pull you to your feet. “Aww, you know you’re my fave audience, baby,” he gushes, reaching to grab his hat off the bed. “Let’s go give it a spin.”

“Well. As much as you can ‘spin’ a computer file,” you mutter, trying to annoy him just because it’s fun.

As you head for the door, you hear him snort behind you a split second before he grabs you, sliding his beanie on your head far enough to cover your eyes; you burst into giggles as he playfully bumps into you, passing you in the hallway. “Smart ass,” he grumbles, voice still smiling.

Ash makes it down to the basement first and starts clicking on files and flicking switches, excited to play his work for you. You stop at the foot of the stairs and survey the room with wonder. Multiple guitars - electric, acoustic, bass, 12-string - are strewn across the room, cables run from his computer to the adjacent room where he houses his drums, food delivery containers line the coffee table; he’s clearly been down here since you left this morning.

While he sets up, you make yourself useful, setting the guitars back in their racks, stacking the food trash; when you’re done, you start to drag a chair over to the computer when you notice he’s staring at you like you’ve grown an extra head.

“What are ya mad at me or somethin’?” He scoffs, patting his legs and looking at you expectantly.

You smirk and take a seat in his lap, watching closely as his long fingers fly over the keyboard, hand adeptly working the mouse, making a few final adjustments to the track. You hear a quiet “there we go” under his breath and then he’s settling in, pulling you back against him and rubbing over your thighs as you wait for the song to begin.

It’s a simple demo so far - layered background vocals, drum and bass, some synth, a little guitar line here and there - but he’s right, it’s definitely a vibe. You’re pleased that his reflection is visible in the computer screen, you love seeing him grooving behind you, pursing his lips and nodding his head along to the beat as you feel his fingers tapping along on your waist while he holds you close.

The track is short and before he can even ask your opinion, you tell him to play it again; his face lights up at your request and he proudly complies. When it finishes this time, you shift to look at him and smile. “That’s wild you did that all yourself and in such a short amount of time,” you marvel. “See, I was right, you did do something cool.”

Ashton laughs, kissing the side of your head as he leans forward to reach the keyboard. “You think so? Well, what’s really cool is this…” He starts clicking around again, isolating the different elements and revealing which sounds are electronic and which are live instruments, which section he thinks he’ll write lyrics over tomorrow, where he’s thinking of pasting in more guitar.

You respond when appropriate but mostly you just listen intently, watching fondly as he animatedly details his thought process; this is why you offered to come down here with him, this is the best part about being his “fave audience.” You love his music but more than that, you love how much he loves his music.

He stops mid-explanation of a section to tinker with it, clearly having a brainstorm right in front of you. You curl into his chest, observing quietly as he cycles through effects and begins stacking tracks. He chews his lip, deep in thought as he lets the song play again and you can't help but press a few kisses to his jaw.

Ash continues his work and you continue yours, moving from his jaw to his neck; your kisses eventually become more heated, with you adding tongue and even teeth to the equation. You suck his earlobe into your mouth, wiggling his earring with the tip of your tongue and finally he pulls away, chuckling, "Baby, come on."

You shrug, playing with his hair. "I just love watching you work."

He laughs, "Then goddamn, baby, let me work!" He growls as you nip at his throat and you smile to yourself because you can tell he's already rethinking his request.

"Seems like you shoulda thought about this before you invited a girl down to your basement to listen to some dreamy space pop alien makeout jam," you tease, relishing the feeling of his laughter vibrating his throat under your tongue.

"Can I get you to leave that review when this goes up on iTunes?" He cracks, finally turning his attention to you.

"I might be persuaded," you flirt, humming with victory as he pulls you into a hungry kiss.

Ashton wastes no time returning the affection you showed him, lips devouring yours, hands quickly making their way under your shirt to lazily massage your tits. You’re mid-moan, his fingers just about to make it inside your waistband when suddenly he’s pulling away.

It takes you a beat to realize what’s happened, your body confused by the sudden absence of his touch. You open your eyes to see him busy at the computer again and it’s so absurd to you, you have to laugh.

“Two minutes,” he says half-apologetically, half-distracted, squeezing your thigh but not taking his eyes off the screen.

You smirk to yourself, immediately aware of what your next move is. “Take as long as you need, baby. When genius strikes, you gotta go for it,” you state ominously, not that he notices. Nor does he notice you sliding yourself off his lap and onto the floor between his legs.

You run your hands up and down his thick thighs before letting your touch wander to the front of his jeans, palming over his crotch, happy to find that at least part of him was interested in your makeout session. You can’t decide if you’re more amused or annoyed by his focus but it’s not until your hand is on his cock, freeing him from his pants that he tears himself away from his project.

“Excuse me, ma’am, can I help you with something?”

You lock eyes with him as you stick your tongue out and dramatically lick your hand, coating your palm with saliva before giving his cock a tight squeeze and beginning to stroke him steadily. “I also had a genius idea I was just following through on,” you shrug. “Might take a little longer than two minutes, though, I’m a bit out of practice… my boyfriend’s been pretty busy.”

Ash giggles wildly, both at your joke and your audacity. “You’re crazy, I’m literally about to be done with… fuck…” His retort is interrupted by you, eyes still trained on his, licking long stripes up the sides of his cock, sucking gently at the head before licking your way back down.

“Go ahead and finish your work, baby, I’ll just keep busy until you’re done,” you insist, mischief in your eyes as you look up one last time before taking him into your mouth.

You hear a sharp inhale, a softly chuckled “fuckin’ ridiculous” and then finally, mouse clicks as he attempts to get back to it. You do your best to distract him, bobbing up and down enthusiastically, sucking loudly, humming around him, making sure he knows how much you’re enjoying your task.

It only takes a minute or so for him to get sidetracked by your efforts. “This is a shitty home demo I’ve spent all of 90 minutes on, there’s no way it’s so good you just had to have my cock right here and now,” he insists, struggling to keep his voice steady, not wanting you to hear how affected he is.

You pop off, gingerly playing with his balls as you zing back, “I dunno babe, you guys had plenty of shitty songs on your first album and from what I’ve heard, you did more than alright in the pussy department.”

Ashton’s laughter quickly turns to a strained moan as you slide back down on him, letting him hit the back of your throat. “My bad, didn’t realize I’d shacked up with a groupie,” he jokes. You silently congratulate yourself as you notice him flexing his hand into a fist, knowing he’s trying to keep himself from pressing down on your head.

You pull off him again, making sure to let the spit cascade from your mouth as you smugly reply, “Like I said before: big fan.” Before he can even think about responding, your mouth is back on him.

You’re not surprised he attempts to resume working again; you’re both stubborn, it’s a wonder anything ever gets resolved in your relationship. You can tell he’s trying his best to stay on task but the whispered curses under his breath give him away. As a last resort, he turns the volume on his speaker up a few more notches, hoping the track will drown out the exaggerated choking sounds you’re intent on making.

A few moments later, he reaches down and yanks his beanie off your head. “Fuckin’ bright yellow bouncing over my crotch is hard to ignore,” he grumbles. “All I see is my hat, looks like I’m suckin’ my own dick for all I know.”

You can’t resist continuing to rib him. “How is that not your greatest fantasy? Your favorite person giving you your favorite pleasure?”

He snorts, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, did you want to blow me or roast me?”

You give him your brightest smile and reply, “Unlike you, I’m pretty good at multi-tasking.”

A brief cackle and a clipped “alright” are all you hear before you’re being hoisted up off the ground, thrown over Ash’s shoulder and carried over to the couch across the room. You squeal with surprise and delight as he unceremoniously dumps you on it, briskly strips you both of your clothes and promptly bends you over the red leather.

He nudges your knees further apart, pressing you against the back of the couch. “Of course you’re this fuckin’ wet already,” he teases, breath hot on your neck as he runs himself through your folds. “You think that’s from my cock down your throat or from you winding me up so much?”

Whatever clever comeback you’d thought up dies on the tip of your tongue because suddenly he’s sliding his cock inside you and now that’s all you can care about. You whine as he quickly establishes a vigorous pace, one hand bracing himself against the couch, the other reaching around you, down your torso to reach your clit. “How’s this for multi-tasking?”

A few breathless cries of his name are the best you can manage as he relentlessly plays with you, somehow in perfect rhythm with his rough thrusts, sending your whole body into sensory overload.

“Or how ‘bout this?” He growls, moving his hand from between your legs to your throat, fingers offering just the slightest amount of pressure, knowing it’ll drive you crazy wondering if and when he’ll add more. “Don’t got any more funny jokes for me, baby?”

You moan at his taunting, placing a hand on top of his on your neck, trying to get him to squeeze harder; he refuses and his denial makes you moan even louder. "Jesus, Ash," you pant, pushing back against him to egg him on. “Feels so fucking good.”

You're so caught up that you don't even notice his song is still playing over the speakers until a few moments later when Ashton suddenly pulls out of you, muttering to himself as he grabs the remote from the coffee table and shuts the music off.

Confused, you look back and see him amusedly shaking his head. "Yes, I was still producing that in my head, don’t start," he giggles.

You fall back on the couch, laughing in disbelief. “We’ve gotta get you some hobbies, buddy, that’s insane.”

He snickers, laying you on your back and settling on the couch behind you, pulling your leg over his hip. “I don’t think fucking you counts as a hobby,” he jokes, gripping his cock and slipping it back inside you.

“Not with that attitude,” you quip, a little more breathlessly than you meant to but with how slowly Ash is rocking into you, you can’t help it.

You tilt towards him, angling yourself to pull his mouth down to yours; you’re feeling overwhelmed and you need him close. His tongue traces over your lips, his kiss the familiar reassurance you need in this moment. “Ash…” You whimper quietly, closing your eyes and savoring the feel of his beard grazing your skin.

“I know, baby, me too,” he soothes, cradling you tighter against him. His hips begin to pick up speed and his hand moves to knead your breasts and tug at your nipples before travelling further down.

Ashton rubs slow, tight circles on your clit, stopping to give your thigh a light smack when you start raising your hips a little too eagerly, bucking up in an attempt to get him to move at a speed more to your liking. You moan first at the realization that he’s going to keep teasing you like this and then again, louder, at the sharp slap of his palm that once again comes down on your skin.

“You’ve got a nice tone tonight, baby, I should get you to lay down some vocals for this track,” he jokes, choking back a moan of his own when your surprised laughter causes you to clench around his length.

You chuckle smugly at him, “Not so funny all of a sudden, huh?”

You feel yourself getting closer so you start rolling your hips along with his, murmuring at the feeling of him deep inside you; you grind against his hand playing between your legs and as he finally amps up the pace, your release becomes closer and closer to reality. Your breathing syncs with his in a needy, staccato rhythm that wouldn’t have sounded out of place in his song.

“Is this what you wanted?” He huffs out. Typically when he asks you that while he’s buried in you, there’s a tone of arrogance or punishment behind it but right now as he holds you, your sounds continuing to meld together, it couldn’t feel farther from that.

“Yes, Ash, god yes…” you breathe, reaching to hold onto him as your orgasm overtakes you.

Ashton keeps driving his cock inside you, whining slightly at the feeling of you pulsing around him. You cry out, not realizing how loud or long your moans are until you hear his voice in your ear, gently lulling you back down.

He’s still moving inside you, hips beginning to stutter and when you hear his breath catch, you know he’s there. You tuck yourself into him, cooing, “Come on, Ash... fill me up, babe.” Three strokes later and he’s pumping his cum inside you, gasping your name. He slows his movements, heavy breath underscored by a contented hum as you caress his bearded cheek.

He leans in and kisses you passionately, completely enveloping you, possibly your favorite feeling in the world. He exhales loudly and keeps holding you, kissing over your face tenderly.

You giggle as he indulges for a moment before reluctantly pulling away, reaching for the takeout napkins on the coffee table; he attentively cleans you up and quickly settles back onto the couch, pulling you on top of him.

You lay together, blissed out, while you play with the necklace hanging down on his chest and he strokes over your hair.

“Hey, sorry I gave you such a hard time,” you smile. “Didn’t realize how much I wanted your attention until I didn’t have it anymore.”

He looks at you, amused. “Honestly didn’t notice you acting any differently.”

You jab his side. “Also sorry I talked shit about your first album, I do actually like it quite a bit.”

Ash cackles, tracing designs on your back. “Oh good, I was worried that was going to be what finally drives us apart,” he cracks.

You snicker, nuzzling your head into his chest. You enjoy a few quiet moments together before he begins softly humming an unfamiliar melody and you smile, knowing his creative wheels are turning again.

You lift your head up again to offer one last apology. “I’m sorry I once again disrupted The Process.”

Ashton laughs mischievously, running his hands down your body. “I mean… overall I’d say this was some pretty valuable feedback.”

————-

Thank you to everyone who has signed up for the taglist, both for the support and the lovely (occasionally hilarious) feedback! If you haven’t signed up yet, the form is linked above! (If you signed up and your name is crossed out or not listed, I was unable to tag you, please check your blog settings and either re-sign up or send me a message letting me know you allow mentions now) @notinthesameguey @cxddlyash @2fangirl4u @cashtonasfuck @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @saywhatnow07 @mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @pxrxmoore @findingliam-o @fedorable-killjoys @trix-arent-for-kids @olivia-foster-irwin @saphseoul @calmsweetcreature @onthecliffside-mgc @feliznavidaddycal @himbohood @maggiesupertramp @wiiildflowerrr @karajaynetoday @ashtonangst @sunshineeashton @aladyofalbion @youngblood199456 @xsongbirdx @loveroflrh @fairytrice @calumrose @irwindoll @polycashton @in-superbloom

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Revelation Part 3

Harry Potter AU- Marauders Post Hogwarts 

Link to Part 2 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: E- smut and sensitive themes

_________

One question, is that my shirt?

You looked up from the refrigerator keeping your face as innocent as possible. Regulus stood in the kitchen doorway with his arms crossed in the dom-like manner that made your heart pound.

My plan is about to work so well.

You thought gleefully before looking down at your body.

“So it is.”

You replied with an innocent smile. Regulus crossed the room and lifted you onto the kitchen counter.

“You’re playing with fire, little girl.”

The tone was teasing...teasing and oozing with passion. Reaching out, you yanked him to you by his shirt.

“Maybe I want to...daddy .”

The word left your mouth before you even thought about it. By the way that Regulus smirked, you could tell that he was assumed. Your hand went to the buttons of the shirt When you put it on you had only buttoned it halfway now you were more than happy to take it off.

“Leave it.”

Regulus ordered as he forcibly spread your legs and shoved a hand between themes. You gasped as his middle and index finger stroked over your clit and down to your entrance.

“No panties? Love, you are definitely playing with fire. If we do this, you know there is no stopping right?”

“I don’t think that I would be sitting her butt booty naked on the kitchen counter if I didn’t need a good fucking. Now take my heart like a man.”

That was all Regulus needed to hear. The last thing that he needed was you getting mad at him after the two of you had mind-blowing sex but since you gave him the green light...he was about to rock your world.

Regulus’ mouth was on yours kissing you hungrily. A year of pent-up passion between the two of you was finally flowing free. If either of you needed any sign that there were still “feelings” between the two of you here it was.

Your hands were fumbling with the buttons of the black button-down that Regulus was wearing. He groaned when you missed one button for the third time.

“Hold on.”

He said softly before yanking the shirt over his head and tossing it on the floor before going for the buckle of his pants. Tossing his hair over his shoulder, Regulus tilted your face back to his.

“Eyes up here, sugar. I have missed those pretty lips...fuck I have missed everything about you.”

“I’ve missed you too. Just fuck me already.”

You replied against Regulus’ mouth as he moved to kiss you again. Regulus pulled you off of the counter and gently shoved your top half down onto the surface.

“Soon.”

He commented before grazing your neck with his teeth. making your squirm against his body. It would be so easy to mark you up. Regulus could leave enough love bites so every man in the house would know that you were off-limits. Not that he really had the need to worry about any other man in the house trying to get you. Sirius was too busy charming Remus (that didn’t mean that Regulus had totally stopped worrying about his brother possibly developing feelings for you in the future). His cock was hard against your ass.

“Baby, you feel so good.”

Regulus moaned, rubbing his cock down the line of your ass. He pushed you forward, to push two fingers into your aching core. You cried out and was thankful no one else was home. Regulus’ fingers pushed deeper. Regulus finally placed his fingers with his cock...what you really wanted. Your pussy stretched to accommodate his size. Had you really forgotten about how good he felt when buried deep inside of you?

The two of you were so busy fucking that neither of you noticed Sirius step into the kitchen and freeze. He watched for a few moments, blinking, before turning and going to join Remus making a mental note on where to sanitize the next morning. Sirius at least had some gossip to share (Remus, you will never believe who I saw fucking in the kitchen. Okay, yeah, it was Reg and Y/n...I think she was wearing his shirt too.)

You, meanwhile, were so focused on the feeling of the head of Regulus’ cock cramming against your cervix that you couldn’t focus on much else. Regulus snaked a hand around your waist to toy with your clit.

“Come, princess.”

Regulus groaned against your back. The moment that he pressed down on your clit, you came without having to be told twice. You knew better than to make Regulus tell you twice. If he had to tell you twice, your ass would be red and raw. You weren’t for sure if he would do that tonight since this was the first fuck in so long. You decided not to press your luck as Regulus came inside of you. He collapsed on your back, holding onto you as tight as the pulsating died out.

“God damn, love, you know how to make me feel like a man.”

You pressed a kiss to Regulus’ wrist as he reached down his free hand to tug his pants back up.

“I’m sorry for everything that I did. This may be a shitty time to say it but I am.”

You slowly turned in his arms for a kiss.

“Let's just have fun. We can talk tomorrow.”

The next morning brought more drama than it did making up. You woke up with Regulus’ arm around you. The bed was nice and warm, almost encouraging you to snuggle back against Regulus and go to sleep, however, a voice caught your attention. It sounded like your old work partner from back in the states...Michael.

Wiggling out of Regulus’ arms you quickly pulled on your abandoned clothes.

“Where are you going?”

Regulus groaned, opening one eye to look at the clock 8:45. He never slept this late but today could be the one exception.

“I heard something downstairs.”

You quickly walked downstairs to where the voices were coming from. Sure enough, there sat Michael beside Moody. Sirius turned with a smile,

“Someone missed you.”

Michael jumped up and pulled you into a bone-breaking hug.

“What are you doing here?”

You asked with a smile. To say that you were surprised, would be an understatement. You assumed that when you told Michael goodbye, it was actually goodbye.

Michael was another interesting topic for you. He reminded you so much of Regulus (sarcasm) and Sirius (everything else) mixed together paired with an LA street smart cop. Had you not been so hurt over Regulus’ breaking up with you, you may have given Micahel a chance. The breakup had taken a lot out of you, including your ability to consider dating someone else. That didn’t mean that Michael didn’t try. He tried hard! The poor guy tried to charm you nonstop with no giving up insight.

“I woke up a couple of days ago and thought that it was time for a change of scenery. I heard London was nice, so here I am.”

“A move across the ocean is more than a change of scenery.”

You replied. Michael grinned.

“Well, a girl could have influenced my decision.”

Sirius was watching the whole thing with a raised eyebrow. You hadn’t mentioned some other guy that could be crushing over you….especially last night when his little brother was fucking you senseless a few feet away from where you stood now.

Before Sirius could say another word, Regulus stepped into the kitchen and his eyes immediately landed on Michael. He clearly saw the way that the dude had his hands wrapped around your waist.

“Y/n, what the hell?”

You winced before turning to face Regulus. One look at him, told you that he was pissed (even though he has no reason to be). It didn’t matter how good Michael was to you or how bad Regulus was to you, you would always choose Regulus.

“Reggie, everything is fine.”

You said before going to join him. Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you had the bright idea that this could be your perfect chance to show Regulus that you could easily be stolen from him if he didn’t treat you right. He would have to be willing to fight for you if the relationship were to work and sustain itself. Maybe it was cold and childish but it could work.

“Who’s the tool?”

Regulus asked slowly. Micahel frowned.

“My name is Michael. I’m her work partner from America. I’ve been transferred here on assignment.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow before letting himself regain his cool composure

“Well, isn’t that special. You’re an American? Just an FYI, the steering wheel in the car is on the other side and you lot drive on the wrong side of the road.”

Sirius quietly snorted and had to put his head down. That had to be one of the more savage takedowns that he had seen Regulus offer in some time...and it was brilliant.

You, meanwhile, were looking at Regulus out of the corner of your eyes while Michael faked a smile.

“Yeah, kind of figured that out. Thanks for the info. You are? I didn’t catch your name.”

“Regulus.”

Regulus kept his response basic. The least this idiot knew about him the better off things would probably be.

Michael meanwhile nodded suspiciously. He knew Regulus’ name well. This was the boyfriend. It all made sense now. Michael couldn't help but be curious if the two of you had already worked all of your issues or if this was just a “fuck and play” thing? If it was the latter of the two then Michael still had a chance with you...and Regulus could go fuck himself.

“Oh, you’re the boyfriend.”

Regulus nodded.

“Yeah, that’s me. I’m her boyfriend.”

You gently patted Regulus’ shoulder before focusing your attention back on Michael.

“Okay, that’s enough you two. Regulus, I’m going to take a shower. Sirius, make sure no one dies while I’m gone.

Sirius nodded. You knew that it was stupid to leave the room but the more Regulus and Michael got to know each other the better things would work in your favor. Should you feel bad for essentially using Michael like a piece of meat to make Regulus jealous? You knew the answer was definitely yes now.

You had been out of the room for a few moments when Remus decided to be the first one to speak.

“Let's all sit down.”

He had a feeling that things were about to get interesting. Remus caught Sirius’ gaze before motioning toward Regulus as if telling him to “mind his brother.”

Michael sat down at the table keeping his “sunny” disposition. His attention was on Regulus who was muttering in French to the male on his right. Michael had a feeling that they were talking about him too based on how the other brother, introduced as Sirius, was laughing.

“I think London is a lovely city. It's nice compared to Los Angeles but I don’t see as much to do.”

Regulus smirked up.

“Maybe you should have stayed in LA. I hear there are great street gangs to join.”

Michael’s pleasant smile faded.

“I’m an auror. That would be a little illegal. Is that a dark mark on your arm there Regulus? You were a dark wizard?”

Regulus glanced down at his left arm where his dark mark was clearly visible before looking up.

“Ah, so that’s what that is. There is no getting past you. To answer your question, yes I was a dark wizard...speaking of which would you like to see some real dark magic? I can show you…”

Michael’s cheeky smile faded as Regulus stared at him not blinking. Slipping his hand into his jacket, he decided to wrap a hand around his wand. Michael was still trying to figure out if he was actually in any danger or if Regulus was just screwing with him.

“Okay, Reg, that’s enough. You’ve made him shit his pants. Go take a shower with Y/n. I’m sure with her being all wet and slippery that she would love to see you.”

Sirius commented, breaking Regulus’ stare on Michael.

“Great idea, Sirius.”

________

@amelie-black @regulusslut @fandomsxxregulus @truly-insatiable @fific7 @realgaytrash @quuenofblacks @jessyballet @knreidy1 @hazncalsgal @teletubiswszpilkach @acciosiriusblack @mimisparkle12 @rubyroscoe1 @criminalyetminimal @whymyparentscheckmyphone @exhsle @bennyberry @spiderxalmighty @brokencasbutt67-writer @fandom-trash-worth-it @authoressskr @summer-novak @hankypranky @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @marichromatic @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @stuckinsaudi1 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @deanwherescas @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner

[cobycobsy2k]

CobyCobs Uberhood, Season 4: “Rebels”

Chapter 3, part 2 of 2: “Vacance Club”

Twikki Islands

The boys were enjoying their well-deserved vacations in a hotel on the island, they were all in the hotel dining room waiting for some indication.

Castor (A little nervous while looking at Brittany Upsnott): My parents forced me to do community service... They think that this way I will "improve" my behavior... And the worst thing is that today I wanted to do romantic things with Brit.

Joshua: Don't worry bro, you can count on us for anything.

At Brittany, Tiffany and Heather's table.

Brittany (While fixing her look): Girls, do I look good? I want to look fabulous because today I'm going on a date with Castor!

Heather: Obviously you look Divine, Brit! Hey... Do you know which girl we're going to give a new makeover to?

Tiffany (Pointing to ElIa and Nicole): Don't you remember when you gave Angela a makeover? Well, I think those two girls could really use it…

At that moment Lindsay, Puck, Lilith, Dirk, Rose and Hermia enter.

Lindsay (While looking with a mischievous smile at Tiffany, Brittany and Heather): What's up?... Apparently here we have the three biggest brainless in the area!.

Heather: FYI! We're very smart high society girls! Besides... why don't you mind your own business?

Tank looked at Lindsay, he admired her rebellious manner, but he didn't dare speak to her.

At Paris's table, Natsuki, Angela and Ella.

Natsuki (while fixing her outfit): Girls, do you want to walk around here? Honestly, I'm bored.

Paris (while waiting for her boyfriend Mercutio): I'm waiting for Mercutio, he and I will go swimming together.

Angela (While looking at the boys): Let's go, Ella, here it's just boring! Besides, we have to teach you some things!

ElIa (Getting up and looking at Kevin): Okay girls...

At that moment, Castor received a message from his father, who demanded that he leave the hotel to do community work.

The boy ran off, drawing the attention of Lilith and Dirk.

Later, some boys who had stayed at the hotel were doing some activities such as swimming, sunbathing, playing, etc...

Heather: Hey, why didn't Tiffany bring her swimsuit?

Brittany (Revealing her disgust towards Tiffany): Ugh...don't talk to me about that Ridiculous, she doesn't even know where she's standing, much less in a bathing suit, she just looks ridiculous!

In the distance, Allegra Gorey listened to everything with a mischievous smile, she wanted to expose everyone.

With Lilith, Nicole and Lindsay.

The three girls were talking about the place.

Lindsay: This is so much better than being at home with my annoying parents and siblings!

Nicole: Why do you say that Lindsay? Having Siblings is so cool!

Lilith: It is when you don't have idiotic siblings...

Later.

Heather was touring Twikki Island alone, in the distance... Jimmy was chasing her.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Liam

Rio: Erm, hi, what the actual fuck

Liam: how can I help you

Rio: Okay no, do not try to be cute with me right now

Rio: How do you even know my sister

Rio: do you

Liam: we’re both taken, ain’t we, and your sister wouldn’t like me being cute with anyone else rn

Liam: it’s a long story, I dunno why you’d wanna hear it from me instead of her

Rio: Believe me, I am trying to contact her

Rio: Do you really think this is appropriate?

Liam: you’re gonna tell me why you don’t think it is, that’s why you’re here

Liam: not my pov, yeah though

Rio: I’m here to ask you what you’re doing and why, both of which you’ve avoided answering so yeah, that’s not worrying AT ALL

Liam: you can see what’s happening and as she’s your sister I assumed you’d see why anyone would think it’s worth doing

Rio: You realise how that makes you sound, yeah

Rio: So you’ve just hit up a random girl who’s two years younger than you because you think she’s fit

Liam: you’re twisting it to make me sound like that bc you’ve already decided how this convo is gonna go, like I said

Liam: I didn’t know anything about her when we first started talking but am I mad she ended up being fit, no

Rio: If you had anything to say for yourself then I wouldn’t have to fill in the blanks

Rio: You aren’t exactly making it sound like you’re anything but guilty

Rio: Did you start talking to her or her to you?

Liam: [a screenshot of her post on the ARG thread and your reply because of course you have that]

Liam: guilty of what, having a common interest

Rio: Aren’t those places anonymous

Rio: So, what, she’s just giving out her info to anyone on the internet?

Rio: Great

Liam: she’s smarter than that

Rio: She’s my sister, I know what she’s like

Rio: Just say what you mean and what happened, it shouldn’t be difficult if you have nothing to hide

Liam: then you know she made we work for knowing more about her and I did

Rio: And you like her, do you

Liam: why are you phrasing it like I shouldn’t, she’s incredible

Rio: I’m not

Rio: that’s twisting it

Rio: but you’re an older lad, she’s never had a boyfriend

Rio: I just don’t think this is ideal for her first experience

Liam: what’s better about a lad from her year, I’ll look after her

Rio: It isn’t really about the age, it’s about experience

Liam: I dunno what Lex has told you but it sounds like she’s lying

Rio: I know Lex too

Liam: it didn’t work with her, maybe she’s still annoyed about it

Rio: She hasn’t said anything against you, FYI

Liam: she’s your mate, you wouldn’t really say if she had

Rio: It’s not about Lexie anyway

Rio: I still don’t understand how you and Edie started talking, outside of the forum thing

Liam: how we are, we found out who each other was and moved it here

Rio: Right…

Rio: And you have things in common, that’s more than how it seems

Rio: Can you like, not break her heart

Rio: Because then we will have a problem

Liam: we won’t ever have a problem

Rio: I know she looks and acts mature, but she’s not

Rio: well, she’s still just a kid, you know what I mean

Liam: she’s not a kid, but she 👀 at the world how they do, sometimes, not having that in common is why I wouldn’t hurt her

Rio: Does that not put you off?

Liam: it’s not a - it’s a +

Rio: She doesn’t need a protector, that isn’t your job

Liam: it’s not your job to tell me what she needs, I know it’s not me

Rio: What do you think she needs?

Liam: I’m not gonna out her like that

Rio: What does that even mean

Liam: my thoughts are coming from what she’s said to me, maybe it’s private or maybe you already know, but if you don’t, I’m not betraying her trust

Rio: If there’s something wrong or she’s in trouble you need to tell me

Liam: she’s not, and there’s nothing wrong, she could just be happier

Rio: Well couldn’t everyone

Liam: everyone don’t get the chance

Rio: I’m not going to rail on you if you think you can make her happy

Rio: that’s sweet and I’m not a massive bitch

Rio: I’m just a little shocked

Liam: me too when it ended up being her, it’s a massive thread

Rio: I’m not trying to out her, or anything like that and if you say anything about her it’s over for you

Rio: but have you considered she searched you out specifically?

Rio: She’s really smart

Liam: why me

Rio: Come on, Liam

Rio: She clearly thinks you’re amazing, and she’s not the only one interested

Liam: she was as surprised

Rio: Okay, if you’re sure

Rio: You don’t know anything about what’s been happening to Lexie, do you?

Liam: I’m camping with my dad, what’s happening with Lexie

Rio: Edie hasn’t mentioned anything?

Liam: what’s it gotta do with Edie

Rio: Hopefully nothing, don’t worry

Liam: you’re seriously not gonna fill in the blanks

Rio: Ha, the level we are not at there yet

Rio: I believe you, so the Lexie stuff is clearly unrelated to this, you don’t need to know

Liam: she did message me asking questions that made no sense, so if she thinks I did something I wanna know

Rio: Someone did do something, she’ll work it out

Rio: it isn’t my information to spread around, that doesn’t seem sensible

Liam: if she’s spreading round it’s me, it’s uncool of you to not give me any info at all

Rio: She isn’t

Rio: she’s looking at all eventualities and you are her ex, that’s how your name came up, she hasn’t told people it was you, by any means

Liam: the timing is funny, I get a new girlfriend and she’s trying to make me look bad

Rio: I can see that

Rio: but there’s been videos, things left at her house

Rio: I don’t think it was you, I’m not saying that, but she’s shown me

Rio: What would that mean, she’d done it herself? idk, also sounds funny

Rio: it’s clearly just an unrelated weirdo and the timing is a coincidence

Liam: she should be more careful what she posts, if some random has found her house

Rio: It must be someone else from her real life

Rio: even peripherally

Rio: I don’t know, but you’re fine, she’s not talking shit about you

Rio: even if she’s a little salty, she’s not going to stoop that low, truly

Liam: I don’t think she’s still hung up on me or something, my ego’s not crazy big

Rio: She liked you, but it was a while ago now

Rio: and she isn’t going to say or do anything to hurt my sister in front of me, or behind my back if she knows what’s good so

Liam: she came across happy for us in my comments, but I never could read her

Rio: No?

Rio: well, reading her isn’t your priority now, right

Liam: it’ll make me sound like a dick if I admit it wasn’t ever enough of a priority for me, but you clearly respect honesty

Rio: It’s okay, you weren’t well-suited, it’s not a crime

Rio: it would be more problematic if you were still trying to make things work now

Rio: sorry, I should say I never thought you were a match, and I’ve told her so I’m not being two-faced by dropping that here

Liam: I shouldn’t have done it

Rio: I don’t blame you

Rio: neither does Lex, I’m sure

Liam: would she forgive me if I can find out who’s doing this to her, it’s not the same, but I helped Edie with some lads in her dms, I might be able to

Rio: You did?

Rio: I didn’t even know

Rio: but then, she hadn’t mentioned you until today’s announcement so, I guess that’s an us thing

Rio: I mean, yeah, I’m sure she’d be really grateful for that; you really think you can?

Liam: I can try, Edie’s busy getting ready for a show and it’s fucking boring here

Rio: Is it just you and your dad?

Liam: yeah

Rio: I feel for you

Liam: we got off on the wrong foot at the start and I’m not trying to go back to there, I wanna be clear that, like, this has been quick and I know how it looks

Rio: I appreciate that

Rio: I’m also not trying to start anything here, it isn’t personal with regards to you, it only was because she’s my little sister

Rio: But if you like her and she likes you, then this is fine

Liam: she’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met and I know loads of people

Rio: She is

Rio: She’s special, even if I’m biased

Liam: I’ve told her she can do better but she don’t believe me

Rio: If she wants you, then I support her

Rio: It’s not about ideals, or some other in-theory notion like that

Liam: it was about the view you had of me that you got from somewhere, apparently not Lexie

Rio: You said yourself, it looks suspect

Rio: she hadn’t mentioned you until this and I had no idea you knew each other

Liam: but if it was only that you wouldn’t be throwing out lines about experience like there’s something you wanna say about me specifically

Rio: Do I need to spell that out?

Rio: I just meant she’s 14 and hasn’t had a boyfriend before, you’re 16 and have had girlfriends… that’s all I was saying

Rio: if that was your intention, I wouldn’t want that for her

Rio: but you’ve made it clear it’s more than that

Liam: no I’ve not, if there were any girls between her and your sister the Lexie thing wouldn’t be as weird as it is

Rio: Oh, sorry, I just assumed

Liam: I still don’t think she’s doing it herself it’s just the timing that’s making me ??!

Rio: You don’t think it’s Edie, do you?

Rio: I didn’t want to say before because I’m sure she’d be furious at me for even suggesting that but

Liam: even if I could think of a why, she wouldn’t have had time, with setting the show up and this ARG we’re making, that’s the shit I know about, there’s gonna be loads of surprises she’s sorted for when I get back too

Rio: I am not going to pretend I remember what ARG stands for but that’s a relief

Rio: I really do not want to come at her with that energy

Rio: You guys are sweet, it’s nice to see

Liam: you should come to see her perform, Lex too if she wants

Rio: When is it? She never tells me anything

Liam: [the date and the place]

Liam: she wasn’t gonna go but I’ve never seen her on stage

Rio: Typical, I was meant to be in London then

Rio: I’ll see if we can swap and be here instead

Liam: there’ll be others if not

Rio: She’s not going to invite me herself, at least this time I can say you did

Liam: cool, throw me under the bus, that’s fine 😏

Rio: it’s the honeymoon phase, she isn’t going to get mad at you 😉

Liam: 🥺 will work

Rio: I don’t want to hear about your tactics, thank you

Liam: don’t worry, it ain’t what I’m gonna really do

Rio: I should hope not!

Rio: would not be the move to tell me about it

Liam: I probably shouldn’t have talked to you this long, if she don’t tell you things

Rio: She doesn’t NOT tell me things

Liam: no massive secrets implied by me for a second time

Rio: It’s a part of growing up, right

Rio: you don’t tell your parents everything either

Liam: how I grew up isn’t the standard, I dunno

Rio: It must’ve made you all close

Liam: we still didn’t tell our parents anything, must be universal

Rio: I think so

Rio: what they don’t know, eh

Liam: yeah

Rio: Well, I’ll let you get back to not loving camping then

Liam: and I’ll let you get back to trying to contact Edie

Rio: I’ll see her at home

Rio: Can’t avoid me forever

Liam: I couldn’t bring her, next time 📴👋

Rio: It’s a bit soon for sleepovers, honey

Rio: Nice try though

Rio: Thanks for talking to me, eventually 😏

Rio: See you around 😊

Liam: it's a yearly tradition, no need to go back to that way of thinking about me

Rio: I’m just joking, your dads there too, I know

Rio: it’s your birthday, right?

Rio: Happy Birthday for the actual day

Liam: I didn't realise you knew when my birthday was

Rio: I remember it being sometime in the summer, we have been in the same classes forever, that’s not weird, right

Liam: you remember my name on the list of all the kids getting that shared happy birthday cheer in final assembly before school ended, you mean

Rio: Hey, my birthday is in December so you’ll get no sympathy from me, all anyone cares about is their own presents 🎅

Liam: 💔 sorry

Rio: No need, I still find a way to get spoilt

Rio: Are you doing anything when you get back?

Liam: my ma'd be 💔 if I don't

Rio: Duh, I meant with Edie or your friends though

Liam: can't let my parents have all the fun

Rio: Definitely not

Liam: you know Edie, I won’t be bored even when summer’s been and gone

Rio: That’s true

Rio: for 😁 and 😬

Liam: you added the 😬 not me

Rio: that is exclusive to my big sister role, for sure

Rio: it’d be rude if you were

Liam: I used to get loads of 😬 off my own big sister, she’d have called it a + too

Rio: that’s our job

Rio: guinea pig and middle man

Rio: You must miss her even more, on special occasions

Liam: it’s easier to find ways not to on special occasions, mates buy you rounds, think nothing of keeping the party going for a couple of days, I miss her more after, when shit’s meant to go back to normal

Rio: No, that makes sense actually, when you say it like that

Rio: it’s the everyday, little things, they affect you more

Liam: she’d be 18 and too cool to 🥳 with me, but yeah, later on, that’s when she should be around, to tell me what she did on her 16th was better

Rio: It’s fucked she didn’t get to her 18th, it really is

Rio: I’m sure it would have been epic and you’d happily take that 🥈

Rio: Still, make sure you have a good day, yeah?

Rio: 16 is a biggie too

Liam: I will, I’ll be with Edie

Rio: 😊🧡

[nightspeckle]

High School Au {Part 3}

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4

this one is like sorta long-ish? (for me lol, in actuality its like super short) and it’s trash so my b 

******

Here’s the thing. Working with Cardan was actually pretty good. I never thought I would ever think that and yet here I am. I’m pretty sure my delusions are growing but that's not really the point. 

The point is that the kid knows his shit. I mean really knows his shit. 

Noggle gave us Scipio Africanus’ Tactics which was an adventure in itself. Cardan had just looked at me with a toned-down version of his death stare and asked me if we wanted to break up the work. 

It was that simple. We made a combined slideshow that took about 20 minutes in total with each of us splitting the research. I was looking over the slides and when I got to his I think my brain imploded.

They were extremely detailed, more so even than mine and he had been on his phone half of the time. I mean even the sentences sounded smart.  He used the word consternation. I mean what does that even mean? Not that I was about to ask. 

Noggle basically pushed us out early when he saw how good our slides were considering this was just a club and so he shoved us out with a big smile. 

So in all working with Cardan wasn’t terrible. I barely even noticed how clear his skin looked from close up! So progress for me. 

But now as we currently exit out the east side doors to the parking lot I can’t help but notice how he seems to glow in the sunlight. Or the fact that something about him just feels ethereal at this moment. 

So I book it. Walking as fast as I possibly can to the back of the parking lot. 

I’m so focused and hightailing it away from the beauty that is Cardan that I don’t realize anything is amiss until I’m standing in an empty parking spot. 

I do a little 360 standing in the place where the car is supposed to be.

Fuck.

I should be surprised, or even concerned that my car is missing. But I’m not. 

Three sisters and two cars is not a perfect equation. I check my phone to see if I missed anything in the group chat. 

Viv: I’m taking Carol to work

Taryn: I thought we agreed on Joan? 

Vivi Yeah but saying I’m taking Joan makes me feel like a 40 year old mom who drives a minivan

Taryn: And Carol doesn't give you the same vibes?

Viv: Nah, Crackhead Carol is wildddddd 

Taryn: I hate you.

Taryn: I’m taking Olie to the mall, Jude can you catch the bus?

Viv: I can not believe that you give me shit for Carol and then named our beautiful baby after Oliver Wood.

Taryn: Excuse me? Oliver Wood is the god of the century

Viv: Bitch can't beat Luna

Taryn: You would

Taryn: Do we think Jude will even see this or am I gonna have to go back to pick her up

Viv: She’s probably to busy dreaming nasty thoughts about her ghosty boy and his little ghost

Taryn: Let's not start on this again pls

Viv: I’ll be home at 9 don’t die in the meantime xx

First of all, Shit. 

Second, I’m going to strangle Vivi with my bare hands. Garrett and I are friends and it's actually starting to piss me off.  

Third, how the fuck do they expect me to get Oak with no car? Fucking idiots.

Jude: Which one of you dumbos is gonna get Oak?

Viv: Workingggggggg

Taryn: I’m 45 minutes away... so like u

Jude: I am wishing death upon your souls :)

I look at my watch to see It’s already three. Shit. 

What am I going to do? Walk? I can’t call Orianna or Dad. I am not in the mood to face Oriannas snarky comments or Dad’s lectures about responsibility.

So that leaves walking. Or more like running. I am so going to be late.

But as I’m dashing across the parking lot I almost get run over by a black Porsche Cayenne.

 Which p.s. is one sexy ass car. 

Usually, I might stop to give the driver an earful about how running over pedestrians is not the vibe. But I have 15 minutes to get to Oak’s school which is like 20 minutes on foot.

I start walking again when I hear the car's window roll down and a voice from the driver's seat.

It’s Cardan.

Of course.

I’m waiting for a comment about idiotically walking behind moving cars but it doesn’t come. Or for him to unleash the snide comments he has been holding back all afternoon. However, what does come out is even worse.

“Do you need a ride?”

....

I’m staring at him through his open window. I’m about two feet from the driver's door and Cardan is tapping his fingers methodically on the door.

He doesn’t look very menacing. His eyes are flickering over my face and he raises an eyebrow up at me. 

“Well?” He asks probingly. I’m all too aware of what this means. The dude who terrorized my childhood is reaching out an olive branch. 

There’s a part of me that wants to turn and walk away from his cruel glares and the comments he used to spit at me and Taryn. But I really could use a ride. 

Plus, he looks extremely hot with one of his hands on the wheel which is like an added bonus.

“Yeah, I do.” He seems a little surprised that I said yes. I watch as a small smirk graces his face. Damn. 

He nods his head to the passenger side and I walk around the car and slide into the seat. Just FYI these seats are comfortable as shit. 

I look over at Cardan as he starts to back up. Which is a terrible idea. He looks so laid back and comfortable. He looks like he fits here and his face is blank of that awful sneer he seems to have on every day at school. 

It makes me despise him a little less. I should have walked. 

“Can you drop me off at Elfame Elementary?” 

He looks over at me quizically. “Yeah.” A pause. “Why do you need to go there?”

“I need to pick up my little brother,”. 

“Is that why you were running around the parking lot like a headless chicken?”. He looks amused as he says this.

“I was not running around like a headless chicken.” My voice is a little cold as I speak. His face goes a little more stonelike at my tone. 

Jude! Wtf, this guy is giving you a ride. Pull it together!

“My sisters took the cars and left me stranded,” I attempt a little more warmly. “So thank you.”

His face twists a little surprised at the thank you. Mind kind of does too. Me saying thank you to the kid who poured milk all over me on picture day for years throughout elementary school.

Cardan doesn’t say anything else as we drive to Oak’s school. He just turns on some music and drives. It’s actually kind of nice being able to watch the vibrant green trees go zooming by. 

Before I know it Cardan is pulling into the parking lot of the elementary school.

A little bit of me is disappointed it's over so soon. I actually feel a little peaceful.

I look down at my watch to see it’s 3:10. Perfect! 

“Thanks, Cardan, truly this was life-saving,” I reach over to the handle about to push the door open when I look back to see an expression on Cardan's face that matches my own.

“How are you going to get home after?” Cardan’s voice is soft as he asks.

“I was going to walk to Ralph’s, Viv has one of the cars with her,”.

“That's like a mile away,” Cardan says laughing a little as he does.

“Don’t really have any other options here buddy,”

“Buddy?” He looks offended. As if the word is a personal assault to his well being. I can’t help but roll my eyes. To which he notices and roll’s his eyes back at me.

“I can drive you and your brother home. If you want?”.

Yes. I do want. But I’m not really in the mood to owe Cardan anything and this feels like a favor a little too out of his way. Why is he helping me out?

So no?

But I’m also not in the mood for the complaining Oak will give me for walking in this sweltering heat. 

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.” Then I shut the door and head into the school.

....

Oak is looking up at me with a puzzled look on his face.

“I thought Viv was going to get me today?”

“Sorry, bud. She had to work.” He just shrugs. “Does that mean shell bring me back a milkshake!” He’s popping up on his toes almost jumping in joy. I just stifle a laugh and shake his hair up.

“Where did you park Olie?” Oak is looking around quizically trying to spot the black jeep named after the quidditch legend himself. When he cant spot Ollie Oak turns to look at me with a full face of disappointment. “Did you drive Crackhead Carol?”

The dad who walks by as he gives me a wide eyed look before shuffling his kids along in the opposite direction. I can’t help roll my eyes even though Vivi isn’t even here. 

Oak is still looking at me in despair. He hates Crackhead Carol. Says that it’s scary driving in it. Which is not true. The only reason he hates Carol is that every time he’s in Carol is when Vivi is driving. Which is an experience to drive any person to full body fear. 

“I did not drive Carol.” Oak’s shoulders un-tense and he goes back to bouncing as we make our way past the busses and smiling bus monitors to the parking lot.

“So how did you get here?”

“Oak, chill out we’re not walking to Ralph's,” I say still heading to where Cardan parked his car. 

Oak just stops halfway through the parking lot with his hands on his hips demanding an explanation. As much as he is trying to be serious he just looks adorable. 

“I’ll give you a piggyback if you stop being an annoying little butt.” He just smiles and catapults onto my back.  I don’t often offer to give Oak piggybacks any more. He’s gotten heavier as he's grown. Plus sometimes he thinks he's too old and cool for them. I guess today is not one of those days.

When I get back to Cardan’s car I can see he has an amused smile as he watches my cart around my lanky 7 year old brother. 

Oak looks at me with wide eyes as I buckle him up in the back and plop down in the passenger seat. Cardan has turned off the rap he was playing early and switched it to that teeny bob that I despise but Taryn loves. 

I look over to see that not only is the amused look on his lips but also in his eyes. He doesn’t say anything and instead just pulls out of the parking lot.

Oak who has been unusually quiet finally opens his mouth.

“Are you Jude’s boyfriend?” Oh my god.

“Oak!” My face has most certainly paled to the color of ice. Cardan looks at first like he might throw up with the thought but then he starts laughing. 

And damn is that a nice sight. His sharp features are relaxed and full of laughter.

“Jude’s never had a boyfriend before.” Oak pauses for a second before continuing. “Actually she had one boyfriend but now he’s Taryn’s boyfriend so that doesn’t really count.” 

I think I might strangle Oak. I look over at Cardan who seems to have gone a little rigid with this turn of the conversation. Having Cardan sit here with my brother telling him about my relationship disasters is embarrassing.

I mean, of course, he already knows this. He’s friends with Locke. But still, something about this is bugging me. 

“Oak,” My voice is diminished when I speak. I’m looking out the window forcing the feelings I've been fighting for months to go away. Taryn and I worked things out. We always do. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting sometimes. 

That's when I feel a strong nimble hand grab mine. I look over to Cardan as he drives. His eyes are focused on the road as he squeezes my hand.

I think my heart is going to melt. 

But then I think I’m going to attack him. I remember seeing Nicasia laugh along with Valerian and Locke. Who’s to say he didn’t poke fun of the fool I was. I bet he’s only doing this now to go laugh at what an idiot I am later with all of his cronies.

But then he catches my eyes and he seems genuinely sad for me so I don’t attack him. But I do pull my hand from his and look back out the window. I don’t care if he’s been nice today. That does not exclude the years of name-calling. Of making me and Taryn feel small. Of how he glared at me at the party. What the fuck changed so quickly?

Oak is apparently not done talking. As usual. “Only Heather and Locke drive me places too. They're both my sister's boyfriend and girlfriend.” That makes me turn around.

“Cardan is not my boyfriend.” My voice is firm as I speak. 

I look over to see a little bit of anger on his face. He has both hands on the wheel. No aimless tapping or anything. He looks over with that cold glare he gave me at the party. 

Great! He’s mad because I pulled my hand from his. What an arrogant bastard.

....

When we finally get home Oak jumps out of the car running to the door. Something about Fixer Upper being on. What an odd kid.

Oak’s gone before I can even open the door leaving me and Cardan alone.

He’s staring dead out the window not even bothering to look at me. Which is fucking annoying. This dude needs to get a grip on his mood swings. I’m irritated enough to the point where I have to say something.

“Why the fuck were you being so tolerable early? You're usually pretty shitty to me. So whats up? What's with the bits of decency all of the sudden. You hate me. What's going on here?” 

He turns his head to meet me eye to eye. His lips are sent in such a hard line I don’t think I’m going to get an answer. 

“I do not hate you.” 

“No? What about that time you called me and Taryn lowlife orphans who were less important than the dirt on your shoe? Or when you would steal my lunch money every day? Or that time you tripped me at elementary school graduation? I broke my ankle.” I’m seething. My whole body hot with anger.

He just sits there. Stone cold as ice.

“I was a child.” It's icy. Dismissive. As if the pent up anger, the feelings I had that I didn’t belong where nothing. 

“Fine. What about Friday night? That lovely moment when you basically kicked me out of that party? Omg, what about when I started dating Locke and you called me a filthy slut! That was a fun one.”

He’s staring at me with a hard unrelenting stare. 

I can not believe I started to think he wasn’t such an asshole. Just listening to myself speak I realize how dumb I am. I’m too pissed at the feelings that have been in that dark space next to my heart to even wait for his answer.

I’m curious sure. But I’m done. I’ve put up with this shit for too long.

I’m storming out of the car. Slamming the door to his precious car as hard as I can. 

“Jude.” His voice is hard. Commanding. I feel like smacking him into next week.

I turn to see him standing out of his door arms crossed defensively. I can't help but match his stance. He’s only 3 ft away and I feel the urge to run as far as I can. 

“I don’t hate you.” He’s spitting the words out now full of force.

“You looked hot as fuck Friday night,”. What? “And that pissed me the fuck off because I like you.” 

What the fuck.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.” Oh my god. “And I hate that.”

 He takes a pause, “I despise you for it.”

I’m frozen in place. Just staring at this asshole who had the nerve to tell me he likes me? After the torment, he inflicted on me as a kid. After the name-calling and the glares and the...

My entire brain freezes as he tugs me into his chest. Hard.

Because now he's kissing me. And damn is he a good kisser.

He has a hand tangled in my hair and the other one is keeping me pinned to him. I’m a stone statue for a whole 3 seconds before I acknowledge what is happening. But then I can’t stop myself as my arms wrap around his body and I'm pushing into him as much as I can. 

He’s turning us around backing me up to his car door. The kisses becoming hungrier, needier. His hands have moved down to my ass. Holding me as close to him as possible. I can’t stop the roving my hands are doing. Finding their way to that sweet soft black hair.

I can’t let go. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of this. What it feels like to not have a single space between us. What it feels like for Cardan's hand to be intertwined with my hair, pulling me into him. 

“See I told you Jude had a boyfriend!”.

I hate my life.

~~~

My one tag hehe:

@fireheartbuzzard

[insporaelynn]

📲 raelynn && roman

WHEN: january 24-26th 

DESCRIPTION: just best friends talking and being obsessed with each other. rae confides in him about her ex drama.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: drug mention, probably sex mention.

@romanbeckett​

Roman

Hi love of my life. I miss your face. How’s it going??

raelynn

my baby

god, i miss you too. i'm doing okay, how're you tonight?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s been an off day, not even gonna lie lol super sore and tired. I just wanna be back to normal already

raelynn

oh no

how's your scar healing up? the boys are taking care of you right??

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s okay I guess bleh lol and not tonight. I’m all alone

raelynn

Where's Q? Is Aaron working?

Well I guess I should know that since I'm literally at work. Lmao.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Q is working on music. Aaron has des tonight

raelynn

ugh. i wanna lay with you and kiss ur face.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

are you busyyy? I can burn us some cookies

raelynn

i'm working but I'd love to see you after if you're still up.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of yeah you just said you’re at work lmao fucking weed

yes please come by when you’re done

raelynn

LMAO I KNOW THE FEELING

absolutely, i'm yours.

u know niamh was trying to figure out who rue's date was and she was like "is it you" bc i mentioned that I have a dick appt with him tomorrow night.

and i was like. dude, no, for like, a thousand reasons. like, why would that ever be me???

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚n.

oh god, I’m so out of the loop with gossip lately, it’s sad. I didn’t even know he had a date lol

raelynn

it's apparently some big secret but he's having people help him dress up and asking about flowers and candy and niamh is like "bitch is it you" and i'm like. LMAO.

like is there anything about me that says flowers and candy

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Hahahahahhahahahahaha HAHAHA

that really made me laugh too hard.

raelynn

like, i'm not the flowers girl, i'm the sneak out in the night girl, the middle of the afternoon girl, all those things, but flowers girl???? sdkfdskksd

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I’m 100p a flowers girl

raelynn

YOU ARE AND YOU'RE WORTH IT MY BABY

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

my parents are coming in to town this week. Gotta tell them I have two boyfriends haaaa. Pray for me

raelynn.

I feel like that should be the least shocking thing about you??? In a good way.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yeah, I definitely keep them on their toes

raelynn

tell ur boyfriend that if he wants me to continue wearing body glitter he's going to have to pay me extra

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

omg but I love body glitter fyi

raelynn

I did an onlyfans video with Lilah earlier and I'm like 80% sure that I left glitter on her sheets. Like I'm a fucking unicorn.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

that makes me so happy I can’t even lie

I too wanna leave glitter everywhere

man I need to do only fans

raelynn

i would a thousand percent subscribe

both bc i'm a perv and also bc i'm a very supportive best friend.

we could get naked and do a body glitter photoshoot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

and I love this about you

that sounds like a dream?? Wow

raelynn

would love nothing more than to apply body glitter to ur glorious tiddies.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

my tillies would appreciate it

Hahahaa it hurts to laughhhh

raelynn

SORRY SORRY I'M GOING TO BE VERY SERIOUS NOW

clears throat Um. The National Debt.

it is my understanding that there is. National Debt.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hahahah I love you

raelynn

Blah blah, topics. Blah blah, smart people jargon, blah blah

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

god it’s so boring isn’t it

would so much rather talk about titties

raelynn

God same.

Like how yours are somehow bigger than mine.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I know, I need some sort of support at this point I think

raelynn

we could get you fitted for bras somewhere maybe that'd be fun

it'd look actually so hot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

well I already wear lingerie in the bedroom. Might as well.

raelynn

you will be the absolute death of me, you're simply too gorgeous and too sweet to exist.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stahhpppp you’re making me blushhhh. Right back atcha my babe

raelynn

is there anything you want me to bring you when i'm done here?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

just yourself. I’ve got good ass weed

raelynn

and for the millionth time, i realized, you are my soul mate.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

you’re mine, lovie.

raelynn

i wish i could've had appendix surgery instead of you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

noooo don’t be silly lol I’m okay darling.

raelynn.

no i hate that you were in pain even for like a second i hate it so much!!

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stop it, I love you. You cutie. Oh god okay I’m gonna make us cookies.

raelynn

Dont burn the house down my beautiful twin flame

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I always get cookie dough thinking I’ll do better next time. I still have that unearned confidence

raelynn.

Thats bc im always building you up and rightfully so

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yes you do and I live for it. I also really love fresh cookies right out of the oven, I just want to make that happen

raelynn

I believe in you my little tropical starfish

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

raelynn

literally you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hehehehe ⭐️

raelynn

i don't think anybody's ever gonna love me more than you

and i think. i think maybe that's okay?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not true. You’re gonna find someone who is gonna blow you away

raelynn

yeah but even if i did, would I even be able to love them without being scared of them?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yeah, I think so. I’ve had to overcome a lot of walls and fears myself that I never thought I could. The right person makes it easier.

raelynn

idk there are a lot of people i could've loved if i hadn't been so....this lmao

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I think it’ll just take some time!

raelynn

you have so much faith in me.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of course I do. I think you can do anything.

raelynn

i'm not really sure.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you don’t have to be cause I ammmmm

raelynn

and you're the smartest person in the world

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

in the whole world?? Damn. I’m not near as rich as I should be then.

raelynn

how about I stay over with you tonight and we get some breakfast in the morning? I did really good on tips tonight.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

okay!! I’d love that

raelynn

good 'cause i don't get to spend nearly as much time with you as i wanna

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I knowwww. We haven’t had a sleepover in so long

raelynn

you can cuddle up to me and i'll feed you cookies and kiss your hair

revolutionary. better than therapy.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Yes!!!!

raelynn

loml

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I finished the cookies baby and I didn’t burn them to a crisp

raelynn

you fucking legend

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I’m pretty damn proud of myself not gonna lieeeee

[...]

raelynn

extremely sad that i couldn't stay at breakfast with you all day

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

same

now I’m bored

raelynn

i swear after i left you my day went down the tubes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

oh no I’m sorry

who do I need to fight

raelynn

well carson is back.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

oh god, tell me more

raelynn

idk why he's back but wes gave him my number bc i guess when i told him to lose it he took it to heart which like good i wanted him to

but anyway i screamed at him in the chat

everyone called me a hypocrite bc i told ivy to stop being a bitch in the chat awhile back. which tbh i didn't remember even doing, i just be saying shit.

like alex opened his fuckin mouth and i'm like what dog do you have in this fight

oh and DELILAH is moving in with carson bc he's "like her brother!!!" never mind the fact that he cheated on me bc i guess friendship doesn't mean much anymore

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wow that’s...messy. Wtf lilah though seriously

raelynn.

So then Carson texts me bc wes gave him my number and that felt like being??? Pushed back in time against my will

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not cool

raelynn

So yeah a lot of crying today

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*chick with knife emoji*

me rn

raelynn

Cute but lethal

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*img attachment* 

and not at all high...

raelynn.

you're so hot jesus christ.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn.

love u more than life itself

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

*img attachment of a keychain that says PUSSY WAGON* 

this was recommended to me on Instagram and now I want it.

raelynn

LET'S GET THEM MATCHING.

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A CAR

AND THEREFORE NO KEYS FOR SAID CAR

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

it would be perfect for my Volkswagen

raelynn.

omg and with me in it...it really WOULD be a pussy wagon......

big brain

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahahah

raelynn

we should road trip soon

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I would love that so much honestly

raelynn

where should we go?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Disney world!!

raelynn

will u propose to me there

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wouldn’t that be romantic as heck

raelynn.

THE most romantic and also we'd maybe get free dessert

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I never turn down anything free.

raelynn

me neither. not the taylor family way

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahaha I love you.

raelynn.

we'll start planning a summer trip, just us.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yay yay yay yay!

raelynn.

i'm gonna wear a tiara the whole time.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.BOT01/25/2021

with Mickey ears?

raelynn.BOT01/25/2021

of course, i'm not a monster.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahaa

[...]

raelynn

I hate dudes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

they’re a mess aren’t they lol

raelynn

Had a temporary lapse in sanity and agreed to meet Carson for coffee lol and he canceled like 15 mins before we were supposed to meet for a probably fake meeting lmao its so typical but I fell for it

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

babe I’m so sorry

raelynn

Like im just so tired

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

how can I make it better

raelynn.

I don't know honestly and I wish I did.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn

I love you.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you’re my baby

raelynn

you're MY baby

[fanficimagery]

Imagine breaking up with your boyfriend, and seeing as you were living in his apartment you don’t have any place to go. There is one option you have, but you had never really thought it was serious. FYI, it was (Part 1 of 2).

TO Gen Fic X Reader

You hadn't realized Mystic Falls was an odd place to live until your high school years. It all started when the Salvatore brothers showed up in town and then Elena, Bonnie, Caroline, and Tyler all started acting weird. No one expected you to be as observant as you were and you played the oblivious teenage girl rather well.

Damon Salvatore was an even bigger oddity, he showing up at school events and high school parties as if he were meant to be there and didn't care what anyone had to say about it. The group didn't know how to play it cool and were often seen being capable of feats that no average human should be capable of. Then the new history teacher started with the same odd behavior, but you were smart enough to stay off their radar.

At least that was until Rebekah Mikaelson came to school.

Rebekah was another oddity at Mystic High, she making it her mission to antagonize Elena and Caroline every chance she got. You had a few classes her, but knew it was best to keep your head down around her and some of the others. But then one day you find her sniffling in the girl's bathroom and you can't help but offer her some words of wisdom.

Girls are catty bitches. One way to piss them off beyond belief is to pretend their actions towards you doesn't affect you.

And Rebekah- well the blonde took your words to heart. After that one fateful day she was never seen too far from your side and was constantly gloating for some unknown reason whenever Elena, Bonnie, or Caroline tried to corner you and you brushed them off. Rebekah took her lunch with you and even switched seats to be right next to yours in your shared classes.

Then Rebekah took you home.. and the reasoning behind everyone's odd behavior came to light. Vampires. They were all vampires. Vampires were freakin' real!

But after a brief mental break, a couple days of moping, and another couple days of talking everything through with Rebekah and a much needed weekend shopping trip to New York- which her brother Elijah chaperoned for your parent's sake, btw- you came around to who the Mikaelson's were. Of course those who you grew up with, plus the Salvatore brothers, did their very best to sway your judgement, but you weren't having it. The drama was between them, not you, and the Mikaelson's did their best to keep you out of when you had asked Rebekah of it. The horrors the Mikaelson's did was all in their past and you promised them it'd stay there no matter how much Stefan Salvatore tried to persuade you.

Fast forward a few years later, about a year after high school and a few weeks since the Mikaelson's have reclaimed their mansion in Mystic Falls, and your life takes a turn for the worse.

Your boyfriend of three years was a total dirt bag and after finding out he'd been cheating on you for over a year, the only thing you could do was move out since the apartment was in his name. And since your family had never approved of you moving in with him in the first place, you couldn't exactly go back to them without hearing the numerous I told you so's.

So with your car packed with all your personal belongings and your entire movie collection, you drove to the only place you hoped would put you up for a night or two. 

Parking at the end of the driveway of the Mikaelson property, you pull out your cell and dial Rebekah. She answers after the third ring. "What do you want?"

You sniffle. "Hey, Rebekah, you aren't busy are you?"

"What's wrong?"

"I, uh, I might need a place to stay for the night."

"I'm on my way. Where are you?"

Chuckling softly, you say. "At the end of your driveway. I didn't mean to presume, but-" Knocking at your window makes you yelp and you attempt to calm your racing heart when you see Rebekah standing there. Glancing at your phone you see your home screen rather than the call in progress screen and toss your phone into the passenger seat. Rolling down the window, you smile sheepishly. "So Evan's officially on my shit list."

Rebekah frowns. "What happened?"

"He's been cheating on me. For over a year."

"Oh, Y/N. I'm so sorry. I'll kill him."

Though the situation you find yourself in is shitty, Rebekah's words startle a laugh out of you. "Thanks for the offer, but that's a bit drastic, Bex. I actually had to move out and I don't have any place to go-"

"Say no more. We have more than enough room to put you up."

Rebekah then tells you to drive your car closer to the house before using her vamp speed to disappear and you can only do as you're told. After you park and cut the engine, you grab your phone and a bag from the back seat which holds a few outfits before exiting your vehicle. The front door is already open and Elijah's smile is full of sympathy.

"Rebekah told us what happened. My condolences to your failed relationship,  though if I remember correctly you're better off without him."

"Thanks, Elijah," you mumble. Shifting your weight from foot to foot, you hesitantly meet his gaze. "I'm sorry for just dropping in on you and your family, but-"

"But nothing. You have had a standing invitation to our home the day you spoke to Rebekah with kindness and accepted my family for who we are, past and all. Now stop worrying that pretty little head of yours and get inside. I think Rebekah is finished with your room."

Following Elijah inside, you're stopped short when you see Klaus standing at the foot of the stairs.

"Just say the word and I'll rip his heart out for you, love."

You snort. "Noted. Though I'm sure you'll be second in line. Rebekah's never liked Evan. It's like Christmas come early for her. I'm pretty sure she's going to make his life as miserable as she can without killing or maiming him."

Your phone dings before Klaus can reply. Dropping your bag at your feet, you swipe open your awaiting text message and chuckle at what you read.

          Just say the word, darling, and he's deader than dead.

"Alright. Who told Kol?"

Klaus smirks. "What did our little brother have to say?"

"What do you think?" You mumble, typing a quick reply before pocketing your phone. "He's a Mikaelson through and through. He wants to murder Evan as much as you and Rebekah do."

"Did you tell him Rebekah had dibs?"

"Not exactly. I just told him that if I changed my mind then hunting Evan would become a family event and I'd text him the details."

"You do know our little brother is in love with you, right?" A voice drawls. Glancing to the left of the staircase, your eyes widen and your chest aches with such sadness and grief you'd once felt for this particular Mikaelson. "Hello, Y/N."

"Finn?"

"It's great to be back."

You heave a watery laugh before slowly making your way towards the brought back to life Mikaelson, hesitantly reaching out and poking him to make sure he's real. When the tip of your finger meets solid mass, you close the gap between you and Finn and hug him. "How?"

"That would be our darling older sister."

"Older?" Pulling back, but keeping your arms around Finn's waist, you see a person you've never seen before standing just to the left of Finn's shoulder.

"Our sister Freya," Klaus explains. "It's a long story, love. One I'm sure Rebekah will fill you in on before the night is through."

"Finn is back from the dead and you guys have an older sister.. and you didn't tell me!" Stepping back from Finn, you reach out and punch Klaus' shoulder. The hybrid chuckles and you pout at him before turning back to Freya and sheepishly smiling at her. "Hi. I'm Y/N. I'm a friend of Rebekah's from school."

The blonde grins. "It's nice to meet you. My family seems to have more enemies and ally's than friends. It really is nice to meet an honest soul."

Klaus snorts. "Y/N? Honest? Dear sister, I think you've got it all wrong."

"Shut it, wolf boy."

Klaus huffs in mock indignation while the rest of his family smirk. For such a tiny human, you had the Mikaelson's in the palm of your hand.

"There you are," Rebekah muses, her heels clacking against the marble staircase. Stopping halfway down, she gestures for you to go on up. "Come. You need to tell me everything. We'll make a girl's night of it."

Grinning, you walk back over to your bag and pick it back up. Then looking over your shoulder and meeting Freya's gaze, you say, "Coming? I'm sure your brothers can amuse themselves without getting into too much trouble."

Freya seems surprised by the invitation, but Rebekah interrupts before she can say anything. "Oh. Yes! You've been in an enchanted sleep for far too much of your life. You missed the drama that came with young love, so come listen to Y/N's woes. If we can't kill her lying, cheating ex, then I'm sure there's some spell in that grimoire of yours that we can use to humiliate him."

"Grimoire?" Looking at Freya, you raise an eyebrow in surprise. "Witch?" At her nod, you grin. "Then you're definitely coming with us. The only witch I've met is that Bennett witch and I'm not a fan of hers. Just ask your family."

The rest of the Mikaelson's all snicker and Freya decides she rather spend the night with some female company than that of her brothers.

You shower before dressing in pajamas, and then spend the rest of the night telling Rebekah and Freya all about Evan's shitty behavior and the other woman. It's a night full of junk food and alcohol and trash talking, and then the sisters decide to team up on you when Kol decides to text you constantly.

"If Kol stops by and the two of you decide to encourage him in this little infatuation of his, I'll.. I'll figure something out that would be embarrassing for a witch and a vampire."

"But you have to admit," Rebekah muses while tucking you into bed, "that having Kol on your arm would royally piss off Evan. He's never liked my family and to see you with Kol right after your break-up would make him think something's been going on without his knowledge."

Yawning, you close your eyes and let your body melt into the mattress. "We'll see. Kol's unpredictable. My luck I actually end up dating your brother without knowing it."

"Would that really be a bad thing?" Rebekah chuckles.

"Mmm. I guess not."

"That's what I thought. Now get some sleep. We'll plot in the morning."

"Mmm. Night, Bex. Night, Freya."

"Night," both girls chime.

The two sisters make their way out of the room and once the door is closed, Freya turns to Rebekah. "Are you really going to set her up with Kol?"

"Obviously," she huffs. "Kol's.. he's different with Y/N," Rebekah then explains. "You'll have to see it for yourself, but I think if she'd give him a chance Kol would likely beg Y/N to let him turn her so he could spend the rest of his life with her."

Freya's eyebrows raise in surprise. "He really likes her then?"

"Yes." Scoffing, she then asks, "Don't tell me you bought that little act he put on with Davina? Kol only put on the show for Davina's magic. If given the chance, he'd drop everything to come running for Y/N."

"Well I guess I'll see soon," Freya muses. "I'm actually looking forward to this."

"So am I," Rebekah grins. "It's going to be fun."

[tetrakys]

About Ikemen Vampire...

I finally got around to do the Ikemen Vampire first impressions post no one asked for, but I said I would do.

I’ve had the app on my phone for a while now, I mostly login and do the minigame to pile up on points and diamonds, but I’ve also played the butler event and a few chapters of Napoleon’s route.

FYI I only red a couple of spoilers on one route, so I’m jumping into this completely blind. Here we go.

The Premise:

A bunch of famous men from history turned vampires all living in the same mansion during a specific time in the past. On one side this is kinda interesting, on the other I know too much about many of these people (including their real aspect) to not face-palm every time I read their names, that’s why it took me so long to start this game. I knew it would need some getting used to it, and I have to admit I still find it strange at times. But well...

MC is, at least for now, the typical japanese otome game MC, so nothing exciting here, but maybe she will get gutsier moving forward? One can only hope. At least I like her love for travelling and she seems to know several languages.

Anyway if I’d been in her place, spending one month in the past with all these famous historical figures around, like hell I would’ve accepted to be a maid. I would’ve spent the whole time exploring and interviewing, I would’ve cut a deal with Le Comte, I’m sure he would’ve said yes. 

Anyway, let’s get to the guys, knowing that I’m an otome hoe and of course the plan is to get with all them (except maybe one). Team harem always for the win.

Ei fu.   Siccome immobile, Dato il mortal sospiro, Stette la spoglia immemore Orba di tanto spiro, Così percossa, attonita5 La terra al nunzio sta, ...

99% of the people reading won’t know what this is about. It’s one of the most important italian poems ever, it was written to celebrate Napoleon Bonaparte, it’s called Il Cinque Maggio (the date of Napoleon’s death... or in this case... resurrection as a vampire?). It’s huge, 108 verses, and I had to learn the whole thing by memory in school. It was so painful that it stuck with me to this day. That’s why I have a sort of love/hate relationship with the man.

But I decided to start with him for two reasons: I find this version of him hot and mysterious and I know his sexy scene is free so... who am I to turn down sexy times for free??

His back story of being half human half vampire is interesting and I am curious to see where this is going. I’m also curios to see how much cybird is sticking to history because the emperor had an interesting life to say the least. Including two wives, which I don’t want to think about because I am extremely jealous of all my otome boyfriends so I hope they are going to ignore this detail.

Yeah... no... this is so wrong... the guy died in exile in St Elena after failing to get his power back, speculations say that maybe he was even poisoned. It wasn’t a peaceful death and definitely he had regrets. 

I feel like I am putting too much thought into this and I should take the game as if these are just random people.

Anyway, Napoleon the character has a really pretty design, I love his eyes and his mysterious aura, and he looks like the honorable knight type. I hope he has also a kinky side because that’s how I roll and too good is not exactly my thing. He said he’s not attracted to MC pfff.... bullshit of course. We’ll see.

I don’t have much to say about Mozart because I’ve seen very little of him. I like his design, he seems to be the cold and slightly asshole type which I generally like, but too cold could put me off. If they’re going for any realism at all there could maybe be some daddy issues in his route?

This was the route that originally interested me the most because Leonardo was a genius and he’s the closest to home. Let’s ignore the fact that people keep using Da Vinci as if it was his surname WHICH IS NOT ,“da” means “from” and “Vinci” is a town, Leonardo from Vinci, he didn’t have a surname because he was a natural son. But other than that, there are two main points that make me consider skipping his route altogether. 

First of all, this is the only spoiler I have about the game, I know this story is sad whatever the ending, and I don’t do sad in my escapism. I only want happy endings, people may not agree but that’s my personal philosophy for playing these games.

Second, that “cara mia” triggers my rage every time I read it. As I explained in another post, “cara mia” is paternalistic and kinda offensive, “mia cara” is the sweet, caring one. The writers picked the wrong one and it’s soooo annoying to read. Especially because he repeats it quite a lot.

So, I’m not 100% sure yet, but this might be the first time in my history as an otome-player that I skip a route.

This. Adorable. Rascal. He might be the second route I play after Napoleon because I can’t wait to banter with this guy (if MC’s personality allows it). 

He seems as smart as his real counter-part and I like it.

I find a little annoying that he speaks like someone pretending to be British, it seems like the writers tried too hard, but what he says is kinda hilarious and I want him to (try to) bite me 👀

I assume they didn’t go completely with the realistic route here, otherwise Vincent should be a little coo coo, but the guy was sensitive and fragile and it seems that this was somehow preserved in the character. He has both ears though, so he probably isn’t completely suicidal. 

However he seems the totally sugary sweet type which is really not my thing. But I also heard he has one of the hottest sexy scenes in the game so colour me intrigued 👀

THIS! This is my man! I don’t know why I always fall for the tsundere, it’s not like I’m a masochist and like to be mistreated, but I like the bantering and I hope that MC is going to be cool enough to allow me to reply to him in tone. I really want to fight with him! 👀

Also, he’s sexy, and the fact that I know absolutely nothing about him, helps me not feeling annoyed by whatever it has been done to the character. 

I don’t know what to expect from his route. Does he have a brother complex? Is he jealous because his brother is a genius and he was a simple merchant? Why were they both turned? So many questions. Give me this beautiful asshole’s route soon cybird!

I know nothing about him too, but there’s something in him that irks me. He has a sort of paternalistic attitude, too many compliments, too polite... Also, that kimono has a strange fit.

On the positive side he seems protective and I like his quirkiness, so we’ll see.

Newton is the one that, together with Leonardo, interested me the most for pure principle. And, in this case, I am quite satisfied. I like his aesthetics and personality-wise he seems similar to Mozart, quiet, distant type. We’ll see.

I keep wondering why they turned a female character male, they could’ve added a wlw route. Anyway, I won’t complain because look-wise I like him the most out of everyone. The eye patch intrigues me, I like his style and I find him really beautiful. I know though that his route is the least sexy and that’s a bummer. I am curious about him and his route and wonder if he also hears voices in his head.

In this case I’m pretty sure we’re far away from the real person. William the character is the yandere of the group and even the other vampires seem a little preoccupied by him. I wonder if his route is maybe a little dangerous, I’m intrigued.

Mmm... I know I’m going to attract the disappointment of his many fans but I don’t like Saint-Germain. He’s handsome yes, but the one thing I hate in LIs is fakeness and duplicity, and I feel it with every bone in my body this guy is a liar. He emanates the same vibes as Lucien and Leiftan. There’s so much you’re hiding Comte, and you don’t fool me one bit! Also, his colour palette is too yellow for my tastes.

Sebastian is just boring to me. I don’t know.... he looks and sounds so plain. I hope there is some big mystery behind and that he will show more personality because at the moment he’s just meh. Also he can’t be just a simple, unknown human there must be something else (I hope).

So, currently, the characters who interest me are: Theo, Arthur, Isaac, Napoleon, Jean, William, Wolfgang 

While Vincent, Sebastian, Dazai, Leonardo and Comte all follow at the back of the queue.

Let’s see after a couple of months of playing if my opinions change.

And btw I’ve seen the three new vampires and they look so much cooler than all the main ones combined! I can’t wait for their routes to come out.

[jemej3m]

Date Night

one of my fave headcanons that andreil go on weekly not-dates, because they’re definitely not a thing. 

Neil didn’t really understand the shallow forms of entertainment that were provided around campus until he found himself participating in them with Andrew. 

Movies, picnics, markets. It was, as Andrew tended to reiterate, incredibly fickle. Sometimes Neil felt like an idiot attempting the games and activities, especially considering Andrew usually opted out to watch. But sometimes it made Andrew crack that tiny, tiny smile, and Neil couldn’t deny that his embarrassment was worth it.

It was the reason they both upgraded to smart-phones, so that Andrew could film Neil falling onto his ass (ice-skating), or almost knocking over a kid by flinging his arm the wrong way (bowling), or slipping over in a mud puddle (an evening walk in the summer rain). Now they both had an app called Snapchat, where their messages were various saved videos of Neil doing stupid shit. 

Neil looked up from where he had sunk into the beanbag at the jangle of Andrew’s keys. His - boyfriend? No, not boyfriend - was glaring at the back of Kevin’s head, silently daring him to say something. 

Kevin looked at Neil. “You’re wasting precious time.” 

All he said was “Sue me.”, clambering onto his feet. He snatched a grey hoodie - Andrew’s - and put on socks before stuffing his feet into black boots - also Andrew’s. He was not impressed at the sight of what Neil was wearing, pushing him out the door and slamming it behind them. 

“What’s the date-night agenda for this week?” Neil jeered, knowing it would rile him up.

“I hate you.” Andrew said calmly, chucking the keys at Neil as they reached the bottom of the Tower’s stairs. “Drive.”

Neil did as he was told. And if their fingers were linked over the gearstick for the entirety of the half-hour drive, neither of them mentioned it. 

Andrew, a man of simplicity, had always liked the crisp fall weather. South Carolina’s fall was nothing like California’s, where the heat laid over your skin like heavy-weighted hands. Andrew liked the contrast between the cool breeze and the warmth of Neil’s hand as they walked from the car to the carnival grounds: He liked Neil in his sweater and his boots. He’d liked Neil in his car, too, though that was an old satisfaction now. 

There was a particular scar that Andrew always brushed his thumb over: his fist knuckle, where a half-formed circle raised up from the skin. The dash-board lighter hadn’t created a whole circle, instead, a crescent shape. He would circle it, then cross it, then circle it again. He wondered if Neil noticed it.

He probably had: For someone who had remained so insistently oblivious, he was sure as hell perceptive now. Maybe when he understood something, he broke it down into tiny, manageable pieces so that he could continue to interpret it. 

“Hey.” Neil hadn’t mentioned where they were, or what they were doing. Instead, he was letting his eyes flit from one brightly lit stall to another. They’d arrived at the ticket booth. “Cash?” 

Andrew let go of Neil’s hand to take out his wallet, which was where Neil kept most of his crap, too. God, Andrew would have murdered Neil himself if he’d been on the run with the fucker. He was so annoying, keeping every receipt and business card to dispose of properly, later. Even if he no longer had to hide a paper trail, his old habits kept up with him. 

Two adult tickets. Andrew ignored the weird glances: Neil, who was growing used to the reactions to his scars, ignored them too. They walked into the grounds, and found themselves silently overwhelmed. 

“I was never allowed to go to one of these as a kid.” Neil admitted. 

“Of course not. Your entire existence is tragic.” 

“Drama queen.” Neil muttered, tugging on Andrew’s sleeve and carefully avoiding his armbands. Always so fucking careful. Andrew hated him for it. 

“I’ve only been to one.” Truth for truth. Conversation rolled off Andrew’s tongue easily now. Everything was easier with Neil. Not easy, but - easier. “I snuck it. Got cotton candy with two dollars I’d stolen from my foster mother. Got kicked out because it was actually three dollars, and I’d used a piece of printed money.” 

“Tragic.” Neil grinned.

Andrew made Neil buy him a candied apple for that. There was a small ferris wheel, which they avoided. Neil refused to go apple bobbing unless they both did it, so Andrew dunked Neil’s head in when they lined up to start. Neil still won anyway. 

He also won at darts: Go figure. Andrew forced him to get the enormous teddy-bear, almost as big as he was, and to carry it around for the rest of the evening. 

When they both retired with some cotton candy at the edge of the field, they leant the stupid teddy-bear against a tree. Andrew leaned into it, and then Neil leaned into Andrew. He did try some of the cotton candy but hated it - of course - so he resigned to looking up as Andrew finished it off. For minutes he would stare at Andrew, and then avert his gaze to the sky, before having it gravitate back towards Andrew. 

“What.” Andrew said flatly, wiping sticky fingers on Neil’s ratty jeans. 

“You can’t think all of this is that stupid, if you continue to do it.” Neil accused, reaching up over Andrew’s head to pull at tufts of the teddy-bear. 

Andrew did think it was stupid; Over-priced, commercialised games to keep people entertained, like carrot-on-a-stick for pigs. But Neil made it tolerable. Being with someone had never been a tangible prospect for Andrew, and yet here he was, under the stars at a fall festival, leaning on a giant teddy-bear that Neil had won for him. Contemplating how he was supposed to hide it from Nicky, who would squeal and fuss. Stroking his fingers through Neil’s red curls. 

“Maybe I’m just making up for lost time.” 

That was true, too. All these things he’d watched others experience and own as he grew up. Now he was an adult, he could do them all. It just wasn’t as enticing when everyone his age had grown out of it, having experienced these things at the appropriate age. 

“Me too.” Neil said. 

Well. Almost everyone. But really, was Neil even human? Andrew was still unconvinced he wasn’t a figment of his imagination. 

Andrew shoved him off, under the guise that his leg was going numb. They jostled one-another all the way back to the car, working together to shove the bear into the boot. 

Andrew drove and let Neil sleep on the way back, drooling all over his leather seats. Like he’d said before; Would have killed the fucker if he’d had to live on the run with him. 

Andrew kept his focus on the road. 

“Say nothing to no one.” Neil heard Andrew threaten, stifling his laughter with the back of his hand. They were at Wymack’s, having been unable to think of another way to conceal the bear at the Tower. Andrew reappeared outside their coach’s apartment a moment later and Neil heard Wymack grumble as he slammed his door shut, grabbing Andrew’s hand. 

“Roof?” Neil asked. 

“Tired.” Andrew said. They resorted to the Tower, where they would sit by the window on Neil’s desk together. With Kevin going to night-practise with Matt and various other Foxes, they’d have the dorm to themselves for a little while, and could smoke inside. 

Seated and comfortable, they had a good view of Palmetto’s campus. Andrew breathed smoke into Neil’s mouth, who then ghosted his lips down Andrew’s neck. 

“Thanks for tonight.” Neil whispered. 

“Whatever.” And if either of them heard the strain in Andrew’s voice that betrayed his nonchalance, neither mentioned it.

ooft its been awhile since ive written just a basic andreil one shot, rather than au’s.  

fyi, none of my shit is proofread. it’s the internet, not my final thesis. 

[five-wow]

9.20 thoughts! this got very long, just as an fyi.

not even a minute in and some guys sold a teenage girl a gun. oh boy.

on the plus side: i remember which episode this is now! it’s the one with the gun that somehow has a connection to lots of five-0 members’ lives!

the banter between those two cops was really fun (and not as stilted as it sometimes is when a random Cop Or Security Duo shows up!) and then one of them got shot and something like that kind of HAD to happen but i’m still sad

OKAY so the first connection is that junior is friends with one of the guys who sold the gun and the guy shows up at HQ and i was like, oh no, but then he tells junior what he did!!! that’s so good!!! i’m weirdly proud of this very minor side character who did a very bad thing

DANNY. THERE’S DANNY. i technically knew he had to be in this episode somewhere because i’ve seen photographical evidence of it here on tumblr, but THERE HE IS. YAY. i mean, i love almost all of the main cast, but i think part of the reason why it took me a month to watch the previous episode was because danny wasn’t in it. it still just doesn’t feel right. it’s like there’s something missing. and here that something is!

junior and his buddy leave and steve and danny are alone in the office and steve said something case-related directly to danny and i’m weirdly excited about that, too!! my bars are literally so low.

BABY STEVE. baby steve is watching inspector gadget, oh my gosh, aw.

i love how doris is supposed to be there and she picks up the phone and tells mini steve to turn down the tv, but we never see any part of her except a hand and some hair because they didn’t hire the actress for this episode. so subtle.

i am... so conflicted about this scene. on the one hand, mini steve is super cute. on the other, we’re probably supposed to like young john here and think he’s a Good Dad but i just... kind of low key hate everything he does. he looks annoyed when doris tells him the call is for him, like she’s bugging him somehow after being the one who picked up the phone in the first place, and the whole “i have to go to work. take care of your mom while i’m gone, okay?” that he says to steve is so bad, omfg. steve is what, five? i know the “man of the house” thing is very common in media but it’s! so! stupid! doris is a grown woman and steve is a tiny little boy - doris has to (and can!) take care of steve, not the other way around, god. /rant

oh! we do get a full body shot of doris but it’s blurry doris! and she’s SUPER PREGNANT which makes the fact that john let her get up to answer the phone in the first place kind of bad too, actually, oh boy.

doris: “john, if something was wrong you’d tell me, right?” john: “i’m not gonna lie to you, i don’t know. just lock the door behind me, i’ll try to call you as soon as i get this straightened out.” OMG WHAT. okay a) this is hilarious knowing as we do that doris was actually a highly trained cia agent/assassin and probably way more skilled than john and outranks him by far, fjdkfd, and b) i’ll give john a little credit for being somewhat honest and not just going with “no, everything’s totally fine, don’t worry”, but the answer he does give is almost worse because it’s so incredibly vague, holy shit. he says “i’m not gonna lie to you” and he doesn’t, but he also doesn’t tell doris who called or what they said or why he’s suddenly leaving for work in the middle of the night or why he thinks she needs to lock the door.

i’m only six minutes in at this point. i’m talking too much oh gosh

WAIT WAIT WAIT. john is offering himself up as a hostage, alone and unarmed and without backup, and THAT’s the “oh, i don’t know if there’s something wrong honey” situation he was leaving for? john. the fuck. now the “i’m not gonna lie” was definitely a lie after all.

the guy with the gun: “you’re such a good boy, john.” i respectfully disagree, my man.

the guy with the gun apparently killed his business partner and john arrested him (of course) and he and john have a talk about it where the guy is like “i shouldn’t have gone to prison!” and john is like “you got off lightly!” and it’s okay but. john is so smug about it and i hate that. he’s probably supposed to look bad ass and cool but i just. i just really dislike it. it’s this macho man thing and i’m not into it at all.

guy with gun, talking about his son: “you made sure he grew up without a father.” this, um, kind of made me laugh, because apparently that’s one of john’s specialties - for this guy’s kid by sending him (probably deservedly) to prison, sure, but later also his own kids by sending them away, fdjfkd. wow.

ooohhhh the gun guy said “steve, right?” and the frame kind of flipped to present day steve and that was very cool! i loved that.

2010 danny! and he’s talking to grace on the phone!!! already love it.

i also love that they gave him a baseball cap, presumably to hide the kind of obvious difference in hair that nine years brought.

danny kind of snubs the local food and it’s very 2010!him, but oh danny. it’s not the poor shop owner’s fault that your ex dragged you there against your will.

oh BOY. the shop gets robbed and the owner shot (which was expected, of course, when a main character wanders in there at night), and then danny asks the random woman shopping there to keep pressure on the owner’s wound until the ambulance gets there (which... he hasn’t called, and he also hasn’t told her to call for one, so that, uh, might take a long, long while) and then he takes the shop owner’s shotgun and RUNS AFTER THE SHOOTER. which is very heroic of him but also makes every single complaint he has in season 1 about steve’s daredevil approach to law enforcement VERY IRONIC.

oh, danny loses the guy and NOW he calls it in, fjdkfkd.

jerry is doing some smart tracking thing on the computer and it’s pretty regular h50 stuff but there’s an email adress on the screen that’s literally “gunlover[bunch of numbers]” and i’m screaming oh gosh

they already found the girl! but her dad is understandably not that jazzed about letting his daughter be investigated for murder. but good job on tracking her down so quickly!

2015 tani at a party!!! aww.

ohhh gosh koa is target shooting with the gun, which probably means he’s going to end up getting framed for something, oh no.

oh boy, tani has the same concerns so she confronts her boyfriend about it but she also knows her boyfriend’s in a gang and then the police comes knocking at his door about a murder, so that’s not going to end well.

ooh, 2015 tani was a police informant! and she’s talking to a pretty cool female detective and i appreciate that, even though you’d have to squint to count this scene as passing the bechdell test because almost every sentence references tani’s boyfriend, the boyfriend’s gang or tani’s brother.

steve and danny are interrogating a suspect together!! i might be completely wrong, but i feel like we haven’t seen that in a while.

suspect: “i don’t know if either of you guys are married, but even if it goes south, you can’t shut down some of those feelings, you know? like the ones that go right down into the core.” HMMM. INTERESTING. the camera is literally on danny’s face for a good portion of this, gosh.

they close their main case and i thought for a moment there was going to be some big twist because the episode isn’t near over yet, but instead they realize that this gun was used for a whole bunch of other crimes. it’s a “community gun”! i love that term, wow. how nice and cooperative of them all, sharing this one piece between them.

danny recognizes his case from the ones on the screen!!! and he tells the rest of them that he went to get a bite to eat on his first night in hawaii and that the store was robbed, and i’m kind of glad that at least the team seems to recognize that this is extraordinarily bad luck, ha.

also, steve barely reacts to danny’s story, so i’m taking that to mean that he definitely already knows it. which would make total sense! this seems like the kind of thing danny would rant about at some point during one of his “why i hate hawaii” tirades in season 1, but still, i like that. they know each other.

fjdkfjdk i LOVE how the whole team is standing there and piecing together the fact that they have connections to a ridiculous number of the crimes committed with this one gun, and jerry keeps commenting about how freaky it all is. this is so much fun, awww.

young john gets shot but of course he was wearing a vest, because he can’t die yet, because he needs to save that for a moment much later when he’s scarred his kids more and when he can die horribly on the phone with his son.

OKAY BUT “d. lukela”!!!! i’ve been watching the john bits very sceptically at this point but THIS I DID NOT SEE COMING and i ADORE IT.

john: “listen, duke, i’m not gonna lie to you man...” WHY do you keep saying that john, omfg. at least this time you’re telling the truth about not lying, i suppose. 50% not lying about not lying isn’t much, but it’s a start.

steve!! remembers!! that night!! and it’s because he was six and really scared because he knew something was wrong oh nooo

danny and tani talking in the car is super nice!!! and danny gets to drive the camaro for once which, wow, that’s pretty shocking

ahhhhh, the only thing this danny+car scene was missing was steve and then he CALLS. very good.

i just. listen. i just love danny. the way he keeps butting into the tense conversation between tani and this guy she used to know who she put in prison? it’s both hilarious and secretly very kind, because it’s making the moment so much more bearable for tani.

danny and tani find the guy from the convenience store robbery and he just turns around and puts his hands on his back to be cuffed when they ask him to! he doesn’t pull out a gun from somewhere or even try to run away! holy shit!

duke and steve are in california rounding off steve’s dad’s case and of course they get shot at before even knocking on the door and then the suspect runs for it, too. maybe it’s just steve. maybe their work would be a lot easier if steve’s presence didn’t magically make all the suspects shoot and run.

and the gun gets put away in a box in evidence storage, closing the case(s). aww. that’s a nice end.

okay, so, as much as i complain about john mcgarrett, i did really enjoy this episode very much! it was a really fun idea to have this gun travel around the island and use it to show little parts of characters’ backstories and i liked the execution of it too, plus the pacing was good and it had some funny moments and it had (very importantly) danny in it. and tani’s background!!! i think that was the one that surprised me most, because danny being a good cop with bad luck and steve having a not-so-great dad are a bit of a given at this point (though i still enjoyed seeing that, too!), but we knew precious little about tani’s life before five-0, and apparently there’s a huge story there. knowing what this episode showed us, i kind of want her to have a conversation with kamekona at some point - they both had a youth where they (almost) went the wrong direction, and they both got out of that in part for the sake of their brothers, and then they both ended up in the five-ohana somehow, which is probably not a place they ever saw themselves. i don’t know, i just love the idea of this unexpected friendship/understanding between two characters who don’t seem to have a lot in common at first glance.

also, more general comment: the funny thing is, until i watched this episode i hadn’t realized how much i missed this silly show and its silly characters over the past month. i totally did that not-watching-it thing to myself (not even intentionally, but still) and clearly it was more of a mistake than i realized because oh my god it felt good to see them all on my screen again, gosh. :D

[punkpoemprose]

For the classical novel ask: lord of the flies

The Lord of the Flies - What’s your friend group like?Hey nonny, thanks for asking!This one’s complicated (and long, omg I’m sorry), because I have a few groups of friends and some of them touch and some of them don’t.

1.) College friends: I love 3 people. Used to have more before the other two were absorbed into another friendship group mentioned below. I am the token straight friend of the group, which I think is a funny and kind of awesome twist on the usual “token gay friend” thing. Two of these friends are in a relationship and live together and I’m just happy for them all the time because like they’re really good together and I won’t pretend I understand everything about their relationship because I suck with terminology and it’s their business, but like I’m just happy for them and that’s the main bit. They both have kick ass taste in music and fashion and I’m jealous of how cool they are tbh. One friend is totally Mom friend, supportive, warm, and it totally makes sense because she’s going to be a therapist (I think). The other is one of those people who you know is super chill, but also you know that they could take out your knee caps at anytime, and just... she was my roommate two years and I was in a constant state of awe. Like I’ve never seen a person who could handle so much work at once, holy shit. The last friend is just... I have no words? Like how can you describe someone you have all the love and respect in the world for? Imma try though. They just can do everything! They’re hilariously funny and incredibly smart! They’re one of the most wonderful writers I’ve ever had the pleasure to read the work of and they are going to revolutionize gay cinema, mark my words. Bury your gays? No. Not with this friend. More like marry your gays, am I right? Well anyway, just know I love these three to the ends of the Earth and support the hell out of them in everything they do

2.) High school Friends: A mishmash of girls I’ve loved since anywhere from Kindergarten to Middle school. We’ve been more or less going our separate ways for a while now, but I still love them so much

3.) Sexy Six: One of them made the name, the rest of us are rolling with it. Me & the boyfriend, our two college friends who started dating over the summer, his best friend since childhood and a friend of mine from middle school who moved away and whom I have been becoming more and more close with overtime who are also dating. So basically the “couple friends”, but also very close friends. The ladies and I go on girls trips, the guys go out on guys trips, and sometimes we do double/ triple dates. It’s a nice group, we’re all comfortable with each other. Adam and I were the “link” to get the other four together as friends. The guys are already bros for life and the girls are really quickly becoming close friends which is amazing because nothing is better than my friends becoming friends. The guy from one couple and the girl from the other in both cases are like starting to become friends, it’s not awkward or anything though, it’s just a barrier of things in common. I’d consider myself close friends with everyone in the group and would definitely do stuff with any of them. The boyfriend is well, the boyfriend, obviously. One guy I took art classes with, the other I worked with and when the boyfriend graduated he or his girlfriend (though they weren’t dating at the time) would go to meals with me and walk to class with me. The same girl was also a bio/zoo major so we had classes together and worked in the lab together. The last girl is probably my movie “chick flick” best friend. Like if I want to do “girly” stuff she’s my first call. She’s awesome at makeup and is really fun to watch movies with. But yeah, love them all.

4.) Tumblr friends: Kind of all of you. Like FYI I refer to you as my friends in normal conversation, run while you still can.

[zoebechtle-blog]

Unlikely Chapter 11

Saturday I’d convinced my jailers to let me escape back to my own apartment. Niall wasn’t huge on the idea, I could tell, but I was scared of wearing out my welcome. And I really wanted to walk around in my underwear, something I would have been fine doing at his house if it wasn’t for the roommates. I was very much used to living alone, and being stuck with three guys, even though I was secretly in love with one and adored the other two was like living in a fraternity house. A very clean, well organized frat house, but nonetheless...beer bongs and FIFA. I missed my pink towels and Tocca hand soap, and quiet. I really missed quiet.

Deo had been feeling a bit neglected and pouty, which I pointed out to Niall that morning after we got out of the shower (shower sex was my new favorite because he had a detachable shower head that did glorious things. He offered to buy me one, as well. Finally, a gift I could get behind.). Their friend Matt was coming to town that afternoon, so I suggested that we go our own ways for the night, which he agreed to begrudgingly. He tried to get me to take Phil with me, but I assured him Aaron would be man enough to protect me. Besides, had he seen my right hook? I’d snuck on my phone before Niall woke up that morning, and googled my name. There was the shit I was expecting (including a not-flattering picture of me drunk at a football game in college), but also quite a few really, really nice comments. People genuinely happy for Niall, commenting on his adoring smile and lovesick expressions. I felt decent about the whole she-bang and confident about where it was all going.

A night of dinner and dancing was on the books as I headed out to Soho with Aaron, Hannah (Willie, too, was on the lads night), and Carly. We hit two gay clubs, and I decided it was my night’s mission to get Aaron laid while we danced to some of the best house music around. Never one to put style over comfort, I’d worn battered fuschia Chucks with my little black dress. I wasn’t looking to be picked up, and I couldn’t throw shapes in heels like Carly could. This was a night about letting loose with my friends after what had ended up being a very long week. And I was there for it. I was goofy and drunk and in love with the world. So naturally I started drunk texting Niall.

“Hi buggaboo! I miss youuuuu.”

“Petal . Have we been drinking ?”

“We? I assume you have.”

“Secret?”

“Yes .”

“I’ve been drinking. Shhhhhhh :)”

“Going to get Aaron laid. He needs ridden like a cowboy.”

“go mission babe”

“heyyyyyyy”

“hi pretty girl .”

“Where are you?”

“On the way to Libertine.”

“Need a ride?”

“Zo ?”

“you ok ?”

“Yeah. Sorry we’re moving bars.”

“Someone Carly knows is getting us into the teddy bear bar.”

“The Toy Room ?”

“Yes! You’re pretty and smart, Niall Horan <3”

So The Toy Room was almost as insufferable as Libertine, based on my previous experience with Paul. I was regretfully underdressed and not even my cleavage or Hannah’s mouth could get us a second look by the bartenders to get a drink. The buzz I had was wearing off and we’d lost Carly within seconds of arrival. Also, a girl waiting in the queue had called me Niall’s fat ass girlfriend. Spotted.

“Toy Room sucks.”

“Come to Libertine.”

“I’ll give them your name.

“Count to ninety,” I told Hannah.

“Giving them a timeframe?”

“Yup. No drinks in ninety seconds or we bo-”

“Excuse me?” A very large, very bald man with an in-ear headset tapped my shoulder.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. Whatever he said, I totally didn’t do it. Jess and I made eye contact, and she squeezed my hand. Aaron’s eyes were filled with fear. Hannah stood by, ready to get in between me and Lerch. The only times club security approached us we ended up getting kicked out for something. Or Carly was being arrested (it’d happened before).

“Zoe Bechtel?”

“Yes?”

“Mr. Styles would like to invite you and your friends to the private room.”

What? “I’m sorry, you must have the wrong person. I don’t know Mr. Styles.” Baldie repeated this information into his headset.

Hannah elbowed me in the ribs. “What? I don’t know him.”

Aaron then decided to lean in, “Z, it’s Harry Fucking Styles.”

“Yeah, even your mom wants him, Aaron, I know.” He flipped me off.

“Miss? He said he’s your boyfriend’s bandmate, and that he’d like to meet you.” I’m sure Harry wasn’t accustomed to people turning down his invitations.

“Is there booze?” I was going to need it.

The security guard grinned at me. “Tonnes.”

We were lead back to VIP by Clark (of course I’d asked for his name and was trying to get his life story). Aaron and Hannah each took one of my hands, and Hannah showed Clark a picture of Carly to see if he could round her up as well. I was nervous as hell and gnawing the nail on my index finger. Goddamn it, Niall. We passed a number of London celebutantes and other A Listers, and I was just staring at my Chucks. My life seemed to be a series of poor wardrobe choices.

“Zoe!” A deep Northern accent yelled at me, and before I could registered what was going on, I was lifted off the ground and my face pressed into a silky shirt. We were hugging. Okay. We’d reached hugging territory.

“Harry, put the poor girl down!” The voice of a nasally sounding woman called out, and I was forever grateful to her.

“Hiiiiiiiii,” the tall, dark haired man grinned at me.

“Hey,” I straightened my skirt and saw Hannah cracking up. “You’re Harry, I take it.”

“Yup. You’re Zoe. Even prettier than Nialler said. So glad to finally meet you.” He pinched my cheek. He pinched my fucking cheek. I resisted my urge to slap his hand, but before I could, he hugged me again.

“Jesus, Harold, paws off the merchandise!” A pretty blonde, the one who got me put down, stepped around him. “I’m Gemma, Harry’s much wiser sister.”

I shook her hand, liking her already, “Zoe. And my friends Hannah, Jess, and Aaron.”

Everyone shook hands, and Hannah went in for the hug on Harry. Aaron, too. Jess had the good sense to avoid eye contact and hide behind me - this is why she and I were friends. Apparently Niall and Harry had been texting (news to me - he rarely discussed his bandmates and I had no specific questions to ask. We talked about the experiences more than the people.), and Harry had invited him to the party he was hosting for a friend tonight. Niall had declined, but texted him a bit ago that I was at the club with friends. Harry had then showed four different security staff a picture of me that Niall had sent him, pilfered from my IG, and had me hunted down. Well, at least there was plenty of booze. Gemma hooked us up with vodka, and we were officially kind of fancy.

Harry took me around and introduced me to the pretty people who filled the lounge. Most could have cared less, and a few gave me down right withering looks, but at least they pretended to be polite since I was with Harry. I said lots of hellos, threw out fake smiles, gawked a bit, and noticed Aaron in the corner with a morning radio DJ who appeared to be quite the close talker. I settled down onto a lounge, and tried to find Hannah and Jess. As the minutes ticked by and they didn’t return, I stood to find them dancing with Gemma. Feeling too self-conscious to join them, and having been abandoned by Harry because something shiny had caught his eye, I plopped back, bored.

“Having me hunted down and brought to VIP, eh?”

“Not to be rude, but there are ppl in here wearing socks that cost more than my rent. HELP ME.”

“Hannah might be leaving Willie for Gemma, FYI.”

Messing with Niall was very little fun when he didn’t play along.

“Carly has appeared. And has her tits in H’s face. He doesn’t seem to mind.”

“My god, someone just asked me if I was Harry’s AUNT. AN AUNT, NIALL.”

“Fuck me, I just spilled half a bottle of Goose on Alexa Chung.”

“Tell Deo I’ll be his wingwoman for the rest of his life-just come here and save me from this personal moritification.”

“Niall, if you love me or even just like me a little, you will come take me away. It’s your fault I’m being made to socialize with pretty ppl.”

No sooner had I sent the last text than Harry plopped down next to me, holding a bottle of booze.

“Sorry, been a shit friend. Had to do the host thing.”

“Harry, we literally met an hour ago. You’re not a shit friend. It’s cool.” As I talked, he turned his body to face me.

“Nope. We’re gonna bond. You’re my Nialler’s girl which makes you one of my best friends by default,” he gave a smile so full of dimple that I could see what women swooned in his presence. He had his own energy cloud floating around him. “He said you like Jameson. I have tequila. Will that work?”

I shrugged, “I’m not picky.”

“Hey, I have those same shoes!” He had good taste at least.

Turns out, good tequila is really, really good. And doesn’t taste like a rattlesnake’s asshole (my previous description for cactus nectar). Also, Harry was a riot. By the time we’d done our third shot we had declared ourselves official best friends and started playing fashion police. He invited me to take over for his personal assistant on his film shoot. Or to leave Niall and marry him. When I informed him that I couldn’t be with a man who was better dressed than me, he pulled me into his lap for a cuddle. Hannah joined us, finally, and made herself at home on Harry’s other knee. I kinda of adored this big man child.

“So I take it you don’t need me to take you away anymore?” The Irish accent growled in my ear. I spun around, freeing myself from Harry’s grasp.

“Buggaboo!” I launched myself from Harry’s leg to Niall’s lap, grabbing his neck like a spider monkey, kissing his flushed cheeks.

“Hey, babe. I see you made friends,” he nudged Harry with his knee.

“Nialler!” Harry piled on our hug, squeezing me in the middle of them. Women worldwide would pay to be part of this sandwich. “I missed you!”

“Harold and I are going to take over the world,” I proclaimed.

“I like this one,” Harry motioned to me. “She’s evil.” In sync, he and I raised our hands to make claws and growled at Niall.

“What have I done?” He gave me his whole face delighted smile, and I shot my own back at him, caressing his stubble. God he looked

“Whatcha doin’ here?”

“You said if I loved you I should come take you away. So here I am.” Well, that was a very exact way to word the statement.

“Here you are,” I said back to him, slowly.

“Yup.” He bopped my nose.

“Because you love me.”

“Because I love you, Zo.”

“Cool.”

“Cool?” He lifted my chin to look in his eyes. Mine had tears in them.

“Yeah, it’s really cool. ‘Cause I love you, too.”

My text alert started buzzing at 7:00. We’d been home about 3 hours at that point, and Niall was snoring like a freight train next to me. I got up to try locate the missing iPhone, tripping over his boots and landing on a leopard print jacket I didn’t recognize. What the hell? Strange gasps were coming from the other room. Then my phone’s loud ring (Sherlock theme song, natch) started playing. What the the hell? I pulled myself up and stumbled into the living room, trying to locate my handbag. One Harry Styles was passed out on the loveseat, limbs askew. Jess was drooling on the sofa pillows. I located the offending technology and lifted it above my head like a trophy. Jess raised her head a bit and groaned. The call was from Paul.

“Where are you?” He sounded concerned. “Who are you with?”

“Home. Niall and Jess are here. And Harry Styles.” I blew a piece of hair out my face.

“Well, you’re going to want to get the boys up. The Sun tweeted pics of you on Harry’s lap last night and people are freaking the fuck out.”

“What? No, we were hanging out! I was on Niall’s lap most of the night.” I leaned against the counter, holding my head.

“And Harry giving you a piggyback ride outside. Your granny panties are showing.”

“Fuck! I was wearing Spanx.” Shit, this is no good, very bad news.

“Oh, I know, baby doll. I’m looking at them. And you assholes went to the The Toy Room without me? Rude.”

I worked my way back to my room and grabbed my iPad, flopping on the bed. “Let me call you back, Paulie.”

Niall raised his head, “What going on, babe?” I ignored him and went to the Twitter app, pulling up the The Sun’s account. Motherfucker. There I was, in all my glory, sitting on Harry’s lap, leaning back against his chest, both of us hysterically laughing. If you didn’t know it was nothing, it did looking semi-intimate. And then the offending Spanx pic - lord. You could actually see the stretch marks on my thighs. I slapped my head. Niall was following us and grabbing my ass as I clung to Harry’s back. I remembered stepping out of my untied shoe as we made our way outside. Harry scooped me up (surprisingly strong, that one. He only looks like Gumby.), and Niall grabbed the shoe. I could see very easily how someone would get the wrong idea about this picture. Jess and Carly were right behind Niall (Hannah had been dragged home by Willie after she tried to kiss Gemma and Aaron had disappeared with the DJ), but they’d been cropped out. We went out a backdoor into a waiting car. I didn’t recall even seeing photographers. I covered my mouth. I looked like a drunken slag.

Niall peered over my shoulder at the tablet, and made a noise that I would only describe as animalistic. “MotherFUCKERS! These are fucking cell picss - it was someone in VIP. The only person in the alley were employees of the club. I’ll fucking have them fired.” He grabbed his phone and started firing off a text.

I still sat in shock. My God, my patients’ parents would see this. My coworkers would see this. “I look like I’m about to take on both of you. My God, Niall. I look like a whore!” Tears ran down my cheeks silently.

“You’re not a whore, baby. You didn’t do anything! Fucking FUCK. You made us get kebabs and you fucking tucked in Jess and Harry. You walked Carly to her damned door because ‘bad people lurk, Niall!’”

My voice had approached shrieking, “Yeah, well, that’s not obvious here!”

Jess poked her head in the open door, “Zo, you okay?” I looked at her, shell shocked. It takes a fair amount to rattle me to the core, but we’ve reached that level. Ni looked terrified.

“C’mere.” Jess sat down beside me and wrapped me up in her arms, whispering words of comfort.

“HAROLD!” Niall got up and walked into the living room, and we heard him rattling Harry awake. “Look at this fucking horseshit!” Harry was still 90% asleep and drunk, and he groaned and made weird noises. “Look at this, Haz! They’re dragging Zoe through the fucking mud!”

“What the hell?” From the bed, we could see Harry sit up and take the iPad. “Shit. These aren’t pap shots. That was someone in the alley.”

“Yep.”

“It was one of the people out smoking, I bet. Look at the angle. Jesus Christ.” The two stared at one another, communicating silently.

“Yeah.” Niall was pulling his hair.“Get your goddamn lawyers on the phone. I’ll pay whatever fees. I want this shit gone!” I buried my head back into Jess’s shoulder.

“It’s a whole new world, baby girl.” She kissed my hair as Niall started talking to someone on the phone. Kimmy, if I was gathering it correctly. Harry was on his phone, too, talking in a low voice.

“Guys.” I walked out into the living room. Niall turned from the kitchen window, and Harry covered the speaker on his phone, reaching his hand out to me.

“I’m so sorry, Z.” He looked heartbroken, and I mussed his short hair.

“S’okay.”

“The pictures are out there, yeah?” Niall walked back into the room and sat down on the couch beside me, and put this phone on speaker. “Kim, Zoe is talking.”

“Hi, Kimmy. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this.” What a way to wake up on a Sunday morning - I could verify. “Anyhow, the pics are out. They’ve been retweeted. Even if The Sun pulled them would it make a difference?”

“It could,” Harry started, as Kim said, “Not really.”

We finally decided that Harry would have his attorneys look into it. He called a security guard to retrieve him and Jess, and gave me hugs, apologizing for the incident. He was headed to France to start the film soon, but he promised to be in touch. He and Niall bro-hugged and leaned their heads in, whispering to one another. I hated that me being stupid was causing Niall issues. For a boy that a week ago had really never had much public drama, he was sure getting his taste now.

He put on a huge (fake) smile. “D’ya want breakfast? We could get something delivered?” I shook my head and walked back into the bedroom, throwing myself on the mattress. My face rested on the pair of offending Spanx, and I threw them against the wall. Niall stood in the doorway and stared, chewing on his poor, abused thumbnail.

“I’m so sorry, Niall.” I said it more into my pillow than outloud. God, he’d just finally told me he loved me last night, and less than twelve hours later I wouldn’t blame him if he cut bait. “This is humiliating for you.” When all else failed, my natural instinct was to blame myself. I suddenly felt fifteen again. Kyle the Worst, my high school boyfriend, had been caught cheating on a geometry exam and kicked off the football team. It was my fault because I hadn’t prepared him for it properly, and the bruised ribs I got the evening after he was removed were my punishment. When I fought back, he slapped me across the face.  When my mom saw the wounds and told my dad, he agreed that Kyle might have been out of line, but really, why else would he be dating the smart girl? (My dad taught me how to throw a punch when I was 8 in case of bullies, but the ones you date didn’t count, I guess.) That’s how my brain processed the first twenty plus years of my life, and right now, I was back there. Seven years of progress being pushed to the side.

“Zoe, why the fuck are you sorry? Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. My God, no.” Niall knew this story. I’d told him one night in his dark bedroom, my face buried in his chest as he rubbed my shoulders. He just listened and told me they were wrong. So wrong.

He fell on the bed and pulled me into his lap. “I’m not humiliated, I’m pissed off at the idiot who took those pics, The fuckin’ Sun, and anyone who thinks they have to right to say shit about you. I fuckin’ love you. I love you so much. I meant it when I said it last night. Wanted to tell you forever but I was too big of a pussy. My heart is breakin’ because you’re hurt and it’s because you’re with me.” He was crying, too. My God, I’d made him cry.

“No! No crying!” I furiously rubbed at his cheeks, trying to get them stop by friction alone.

“Then no cryin for you,” he mimed my actions, making me laugh. “There’s m’girl. Listen,” he lowered his eyes so we were staring directly at one another, “I will fight someone to the death for you. It’s only been two months, but I’m pretty sure you’re the love of me life, Zo. I knew I loved you the second I saw your smile in person. Cupid shot me in my arse. I tried to pretend it was somethin’ else until that night you played with my hair and wore my hat. I was so far gone for ya. Ya get me. You’re smart and kinda. Ya make me laugh my tits off. And you’re the prettiest woman I’ve ever met, inside and out. Everytime I see ya I feel like my heart is gonna jump out of my chest.”

Well now the tears were for a completely different reason.

[fyeahfantasticfour]

How did all the F4 meet?

Ben and Reed were college sweethearts roommates. As we see in Fantastic Four Annual v1 #2, Reed was looking for a boyfriend roommate, and, having failed to get into Victor Von Doom’s good graces, stumbled into Ben’s:

They both adored each other instantly. Ben would make sure that Reed got out of the lab and had fun every now and then, as we see in Thing v1 #2:

And in return Reed went to every one of Ben’s football games and cheered him on even though he didn’t have any idea what was happening, as we see in Fantastic Four Unplugged v1 #2:

Cut for length!

They were in love! So much so that they eventually ended up signing up for the army together after they graduated because they didn’t want to be separated (in the Lee/Kirby origin story – I think in current canon Reed at least worked for the U.S. military (especially while building his rocket), but I’m not sure if he was supposedly actually in the army).

Reed and Sue’s first meeting is more complicated. Prepare yourself, because I have Opinions. 

Originally, in Fantastic Four v1 #11, Reed says that they were childhood sweethearts who grew up together and that Sue was the girl he left behind when he went off to war:

So we can assume that they met when they were both children, and that they were likely not too far off in age – certainly not more than four years or so, if they were already dating when Reed was 21, i.e., right before he joined the army. They were childhood sweethearts in canon for 25 years, and I like it a lot! It’s cute! I like the idea of them knowing and being in love with each other their whole lives! Sue and Johnny could have been Californian like Reed! There is so much potential for good in the childhood sweethearts origin story! 

I also think it explains a lot about her early interest in Namor. Reed was the safe, conventional good guy who loved her and treated her (by the era’s standards) well and who she took for granted (and maybe he did the same) because they’d been together so long. Maybe he was the guy everyone had been telling her she would marry since she was very young, and she genuinely didn’t know how she felt about that – did she really love him, or had she just always been told she did? Namor, on the other hand, was new, unknown, dangerous, sexy, taboo, a bad boy, an undersea prince, and exactly the worst guy she could’ve lusted over. However, he treated her infinitely less well than Reed (who never, you know, kidnapped her or assaulted her or tried to force her to marry him or anything AND HOW WAS THAT A HIGH BAR TO PASS, NAMOR?), and ultimately that pattern of bad, misogynist, toxic behavior on Namor’s part led her to choose Reed. (Literally – she ends things with Namor permanently in Fantastic Four v1 #27 after he kidnaps and imprisons her and tries to force her to stay with him for a day to “give him a chance” that was equal to Reed’s, and she just…refuses to go along with it because he kidnapped her and then accused her of “”””making””””” him do it because she wouldn’t choose between him and Reed and he was going to force her to – a stark contrast to Reed, who, as you can see in the panels above, backed off immediately when she told him she couldn’t make up her mind and said he’d never bring it up again and then didn’t – and then she tells Namor it’s over, she chooses Reed.)

But then in the 1980s, John Byrne had to come along and ruin everything. He decided that since Stan Lee had, in the letters page and not in the actual comic (i.e., the canonicity of this is disputable, and, oh, I dispute it and I HAVE REASONS), stated that Reed was in his late 30s and Sue in her 20s at the time they got their powers, this origin story didn’t make sense, so he came up with another one that I completely loathe. 

In Fantastic Four v1 #291, Sue recalls her first meeting with Reed. He moved into her aunt’s boarding house for a summer when he was a senior in college, she fell in love at first sight, and, oh, did I mention she was TWELVE? 

Reed was, to be clear, terribly embarrassed about the whole thing and had zero interest in Sue at all:

He moved out of her aunt’s place, and that was, it seemed, that.

They ran into each other again about ten years later, and that’s when they started dating. Since Reed was 20 when they met and Sue 12, Reed was 30 and Sue was 22 when they actually got romantically involved. This is from Fantastic Four v1 #557, and, yes, that’s how long this was canon:

I’m sorry, but no. This is just…SUCH a sexual fantasy for male nerds. Little 12yo Sue is too young to have had any experience with men, so she’s completely awestruck by a nerdy guy and thinks he’s the greatest thing ever (I mean, this is made slightly better by the fact that Reed IS pretty exceptional in every respect, but it’s still being written for/by nerdy men who aren’t). Then she grows up to be gorgeous and glamorous and an actress and still idolizes the guy and worships him the way she did when she was little and so ends up marrying him. Read this and tell me that’s not how it strikes you:

An eight-year age gap wouldn’t be unacceptable if they were both mature, experienced adults at the time they met – my best friend’s parents are eleven years apart in age, and their marriage is happy and good, and, I mean, a 38yo marrying a 30yo isn’t a big deal – but the fact that Sue was a literal child and Reed was a grown man when they met makes it inappropriate and clearly led to an unequal power dynamic. It didn’t have to be this way, John Byrne. You could have gone with the childhood sweethearts/girl next door origin that was actual canon instead of the letters page that wasn’t. You can’t say they were “kids together” if Reed was an adult and Sue was a child, so you intentionally got rid of the childhood sweethearts origin just so you could introduce that eight-year age gap and have Reed meet Sue when she was a child and he wasn’t. Just. Why not get rid of the kid part too? Bad choices all around.

But, anyways, along come Matt Fraction and Tom Brevoort in Fantastic Four v4 #4 in 2013, and they decide – and oh, god, thank you – that the Byrne origin…is not the most appropriate beginning for a modern-day love story. Gender politics have shifted in the past 30 years and it isn’t really acceptable to have your hero marrying a woman he first met when she was barely hitting puberty and he was a grown man. So they aged Sue up to nineteen and kept Reed in his early twenties, thus eliminating the age gap entirely and going back to something more like the Lee/Kirby childhood sweethearts version, although they kept the boarding house element intact. I really love this origin because it’s SO adorable and what Byrne’s always should have been. In this version, it’s Reed who falls in love with Sue at first sight, which I also appreciate, because, yes, Sue is amazing:

If you love ReedSue, please read this issue. It’s basically a love letter from Reed to Sue. I have many problems with Fraction’s run, but this is one issue I wholeheartedly love.

Ben and Reed met Johnny around this time – and assuming there’s a ~7 year age gap between Johnny and Sue, Johnny would’ve been around 12 at the time. (He would’ve been five in Byrne’s origin, just FYI, when he met Reed and Ben, which is the only good thing about it.) I think a lot about Johnny’s relationship with Ben and Reed is explained by the fact that he met them when he was extremely young, combined with the lack of father figures/positive male role models in his life. Think about it – a lonely, orphaned, nerdy boy meets an extraordinarily kind, patient, smart man and his popular, star linebacker best friend – they must have seemed like the best and coolest guys on the planet. I don’t think Johnny’s ever entirely stopped seeing them that way. I really wonder if Johnny’s pranking of Ben was a pattern of behavior that started when Johnny was a kid because Johnny desperately wanted to get Ben’s attention. He was cool! A jock! Popular! Girls loved him! Reed loved him! People paid attention to him! He was everything Johnny wanted to be and everything Johnny wasn’t. Johnny’s uncritical hero-worship of Reed and constant need for Reed’s vocal approval DEFINITELY started then. I also wonder how much the way Johnny was then colored the way Reed and Ben still see him – they always think of him as a kid, of course, but also his loneliness must’ve been very apparent to them.

This is Sue and Ben’s first meeting, although we, unfortunately, have never seen Reed and Ben’s first meeting with Johnny:

Ben’s wearing his State U sweater, so clearly he was still studying there. But because Marvel can’t keep track of anything, James Robinson complicated things further in Fantastic Four v5 #14, because he depicted Reed and Sue as first meeting while Reed was at Columbia, not State U.

[Yes, that first panel is Johnny and Sue, and that’s how young Johnny was when he met Reed and Ben in contemporary canon. He looks around 11/12, I’d say.]

They kept Reed’s sweater vest the same but changed the school? Why must they make everything so complicated? I would assume that Ben still met Sue and Johnny during this time, although that’s not for sure because he probably had graduated from State U by this point and was likely already in the U.S. Air Force, working as a test pilot and astronaut. But I think in most versions of the post-Byrne origin story, that is when they met.

But, anyways, Marvel, it is about time you actually showed us the first time Johnny met Reed and Ben and also Sue, just so I can enjoy how cute and tiny Johnny was. Marvel 2-in-1 gives you the perfect opportunity!